Total Drama RCMP
by SummerEliza
Summary: When the members of the RCMP's Most Wanted List get together on the second season, what chaos will ensue? Why are the Most Wanted all teens? What have they done to get on this list? Find out in Total Drama RCMP!
1. Preface: Dear My Fellow Criminals

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island. I do own my imagination, which is...... interesting......

* * *

_Dear Owen,_

_I'm sorry I didn't tell to you this before I disappeared. I haven't been able to get to a computer recently._

_Izzy wants to break up. Long distance relationships just don't work for Izzy. Sorry!_

_Love,_

_Izzy_

Izzy typed the last word of her letter with a sigh of satisfaction. _"Now that that's taken care of," she thought. _She hummed as she sent the e-mail to Owen and opened a new message. She started to type, a frightening grin gracing her face.

_Dear my fellow criminals,_

_As you probably know, I've been scoping out the show Total Drama Island. I'm sending you this e-mail to notify you that a competition will be held on the next seasons show for the top spot on the RCMP's Most Wanted List. Be there or be square! (And lose your spot on the Most Wanted list.)_

_Izzy_

_AKA, The 7__th_

_PS- Yes, you read that right. I have taken out the former 7__th__ and moved up in the rankings!_

_PPS- I'll send you another e-mail to explain how this competition works. It will be separate from the actual show's competition._

_PPPS- Chelsea, would you please contact me? I have to talk to you._

_

* * *

_

_A/N:_ Yes, it is quite a short chapter. However, it's the preface. Pre-story. Review!

Also, I'm looking for a beta for this story. Any takers?


	2. Day One, Part One: Jungle Fever

Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island. I own all of my OC's who are not Mary Sues. Trust me, some of them are quite scary. ^.^

* * *

"Last season on Total Drama Island…." Chris pauses and reads the teleprompter behind the camera. "Owen and Gwen battled it out for one hundred thousand dollars. In the end, Owen, a super-sized guy won the super-sized check but then gave it up for a guaranteed spot on this season. That we didn't give to him." Chris chuckles. "Bet he didn't see that coming! He'll be working as an intern for now. Now twelve randomly selected campers will be given the chance to battle it out for a million big ones along with twelve new campers! They've all been picked up and will be reporting to this deserted island." He gestures behind him to a large jungle. "Twelve new campers, ten old campers, and a heck of a lotta cash. Welcome to Total Drama Journey!"

* * *

**The Theme Song**

The camera is zooming through a dark jungle. Along the way it sees a number of creepy critters, including Izzy wrestling with a giant beaver._"Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine."  
"You guys are on my mind." _The camera finally arrives at the end of the jungle and you see Duncan, Courtney, and a guy and girl that you don't know. The girl has extremely short curly hair and has her arms around Duncan. Courtney is yelling and Duncan is obviously trying to appease her. The guy has short brown hair, is quite muscled, and is glowering at Duncan.

"_They asked me what I wanted to be," _You see a girl whose face is blocked by a camera. She's taking a picture of something off-camera. Lindsay is behind her doing something to the girls long brown hair.

"_And now I think the answer is plain to see." _The camera keeps moving and you see what the girl was taking a picture of. Two guys are posing for the picture, each of them trying to get in front of the other. Both guys have the same haircut, with their hair just above their shoulders, but one has black hair and the other has dirty blonde hair. The one with black hair is wearing t-shirt that says 'Your Mom' on it and the other has a plain white t-shirt. Noah can be seen on the side shaking his head in disgust at the two.

Suddenly you see the top of a mountain. Ezekiel is being strangled by Eva. Heather is standing on the side, looking unsure about what to do._"I wanna be famous!" _

"_I wanna live close to the sun."_ The camera falls off the edge of the mountain and stops in a valley. DJ, along with a guy with shaggy brown hair and a girl with long brown hair are sitting on the grass. Both DJ and the guy are playing with a fox and the girl is meditating.

"_Go pack your bags 'cuz I've already won."_ The camera moves again, and Beth is seen walking behind two girls and a guy. One girl is gorgeous and exotic looking with long red hair and olive green eyes while the other has very short brown hair in pigtails and muddy brown eyes. The guy is slouching along next to them with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He takes his hand out of his pocket to brush his hair out of his eyes in an exaggerated motion. The three are chatting.

The guy says something to Beth and she starts to cry. The three start to laugh and walk away. _"Everything to prove, nothing in my way."_

"_I'll get there one day."_ The picture changes, and you are suddenly looking at a guy wearing a hoodie that covers his face. He's standing in front of a building.

Izzy jumps on his back but somehow the hood stays up._"Cuz I wanna be famous!"_

Suddenly, Izzy falls off the guys back and holds her ears. The camera moves to the right and you see a Latino girl standing on a porch singing. A window breaks behind her. _"Naaa na na na naaaa na na na na na naaa na na na na na naaa!"_

Day turns into night, and you see an airplane taking off._"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"_

You get closer and closer to the airplane, until you can see all of the contestant's faces in the windows, staring out at you in fear. The camera moves up to the front of the plane where you see Chef and Chris in the cockpit. The plane takes a sudden dive._"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"_ Inside the plane, Chris is standing with a microphone and you see the contestants stick their heads out into the aisles and start whistling.

* * *

"Welcome back to Total Drama Journey," Chris announces. He is standing on a dock similar to the Dock of Shame. Behind him, on the actual island, there is a large jungle. "It's time to meet our new campers! The anticipation's killing me!" He smiles for the camera and a small boat pulls up to the dock. A girl gets off and Chris wolf-whistles appreciatively. She flashes him a smile. She has olive green eyes, red hair that goes down to her waist, pale skin, and a DD chest to top it all off. She is wearing a black long sleeved scoop neck shirt, dark wash skinny jeans, and a pair of black pumps.

"Hi, Chris," she says.

"Hey Chelsea," he replies. She walks to the end of the dock and drops her bags. Another boat pulls up and two girls get off. While they are obviously related, they are completely different in appearance. The only feature that they share is brown hair and muddy brown eyes. One has short brown hair in pigtails and is wearing a black miniskirt, thigh high black socks, and a t-shirt that says 'North Shore High School Cheerleading.' The other has long brown hair with bangs. She is wearing a pair of glasses, a blue pleated skirt that goes below her knees, and a black shirt with long sleeves. A camera hangs around her neck by a strap. "Lulu, Ema," Chris said, nodding to the respective sisters.

"Nice ta meetcha Chris!" Lulu says perkily.

"Hi," Ema says quietly. She lifts her camera and takes a picture of the jungle. As the two take their bags to the other end of the dock, another boat stops by the dock. A tan guy with shaggy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes gets off. He's wearing a black t-shirt with a cartoon fox on it and olive green cargo pants. A fox is nestled comfortably in his arms. He makes his way over to Chris.

"Hey, Kit!" Chris says. Kit nods and the fox snaps at Chris. "Whoah! Get that thing away from me!" Kit pets his fox and walks to the end of the dock where the rest of the contestants had gathered. Another boat glides up to the dock and a boy with dirty blonde hair and light blue eyes gets off. He was wearing black pants and a white t-shirt. "Max, my man!" Chris says. He holds up his hand for a high-five. Max goes to high-five him and trips over his own feet. He tumbles into the ocean.

"Is he okay?" Ema asks quietly. Chris looks at the water in a fleeting moment of fake concern and then moves on. A boat pulls up and a girl gets off. She is short with doe-like brown eyes and short, curly, brown hair. She's wearing jean skirt, a pink t-shirt, and some 5 inch wedge heels. She walks confidently towards Chris, not wobbling at all on the crazily high heels.

"Hi Chris!" she chirps.

"Hey, Eliza. How's it going?"

"Pretty good!" She suddenly stops in her tracks as she notices someone. In a blink of an eye she is standing in front of Chelsea. Chelsea is blocking Eliza's punch. Chelsea smiles at Eliza brightly.

"Nice to see you too, Eliza," she says.

"The pleasure is not mine," Eliza replies. She retracts her fist and moves to stand away from Chelsea sullenly.

"Oookay," Chris says unsurely. "I guess they know each other from somewhere?" He shrugs. "Oh well." Another boat stops at the dock and a short guy with short brown hair and brown eyes steps onto the dock. He's wearing ripped jeans and a Dragonforce t-shirt.

"Zander!" Eliza squeals.

She attempts to jump on his back and he pushes her away. "Eliza," he growls warningly.

"Don't be such a stick in the mud," she says, rolling her eyes. "God."

"Good to have you Zander," Chris says. Zander slaps him a high-five and drops his bag at the end of the dock. It clangs as it hits the ground.

"Ooooh, what'd you bring?" Eliza asks. She unzips his bag and pulls out a 50 pound weight. She hefts it. "Zander, you know you can lay off the training for a week or two, right?"

Max finally emerges from the water and sights Eliza holding the weights. "Did I hit my head again? Am I seeing things?" he mutters. "Is that small, cute girl lifting a 50 pound weight?"

Eliza slings the weight at his head. His eyes widen and he ducks. The weight flies by his head, only missing him by a few inches. "Don't you dare call me cute!" she screams.

"Chill out Eliza," Chelsea reprimands her.

"I don't need that from you," Eliza tells her rudely.

"My weight!" Zander yells. He dives into the water and swims after it.

"Oopsies." She giggles. "Sorry Zander!" she calls after him.

"I'm going to kill you!" he screams back at her.

Chris opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by another boat pulling up and a guy getting off. He has black hair and stormy blue eyes. He's wearing grey shorts, dark blue Converse high-tops, and a dark blue shirt with the words 'Your Mom' printed on it. "Hey Chris," he says, dropping his bag on the dock.

"Nice to see you Rick." The two exchange a fist bump. Chris starts to say something else but is once again interrupted. This time, by a very loud voice singing something badly.

"_The hills are alive with the sound of music!" _Another boat stops at the dock and a Latino girl jumps onto the deck. Everyone cringes and holds their ears. She adjusts her yellow off-the shoulder top over her skinny jeans. _"The song they have suuung-"_

"My ears!" Rick moans.

"You did not just diss my singing," the girl says.

"It was bad Maria," Chris says blatantly.

"Ooooohhhh! Buuuuurn!" Rick yells.

"Would you shut your mouth before you say something else stupid?" Maria says.

"It wasn't stupid, it was just true!" Rick says. He and Chris crack up.

Maria rolls her eyes. "Idiots," she mutters. She dumps her bags in the pile as another boat pulls up.

A guy with dark brown hair with bangs and hazel eyes wearing a dark blue and black plaid shirt and dark jeans looks at the contestants on the other end of the dock. "Parker!" Chris says. The two fist-bump.

"Chris, my man!"

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. Came to win a million dollars."

Chris smiles evilly. "We'll see if you do. We'll see if you do."

A boat pulls up and another girl gets off. She has long wavy brown hair and large green eyes. She's wearing bell bottom jeans and a 'Save the Earth' t-shirt. "And our resident hippie, Meena!" Chris announces.

"Chris, I'm not a hippie. Not all environmentalists are hippies," Meena explains impatiently.

"Whatever," Chris says, waving off the explanation. "We only have one more new to arrive!" he says, looking at the camera.

"But Chris, there are already twelve of us here," Chelsea says.

"No, only eleven people have-" he stops suddenly, finally noticing someone. "R- rizo. When did you get here?"

A guy wearing a black hoodie that covered his face was standing at the back of the crowd of contestants. "I've been here all along," his deep voice says.

"O-okay," Chris says, a little creeped out. He turns to look at the camera, darting glances at Rizo out of the scorner of his eye. "We'll be back after this short break." His phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket to answer it. "Hello?" he says into the phone.

For the second time in ten minutes, Max manages to trip over his own feet. He falls to the ground, narrowly avoiding smashing his head on the dock.

"Are you okay?" Ema asks worriedly.

"It's all good," he says, getting up and brushing himself off.

"I'm Ema," she says shyly.

"Max."

"Um, I know this is kind of weird but….. can I get a picture of you?"

"Sure, sure!" He walks backwards slowly and stands a bit away from her.

"1, 2, 3," Ema counts. On three, Lulu walks right through her picture and blocks the view of Max.

"Oh, I'm sooory," she coos. "I totally didn't see you!"

"Yeah right," Ema mutters, so quietly that only the camera hears it.

"Hi, I'm Lulu!" Lulu sticks her hand out for Max to shake. Max takes it unsurely, and she shakes it briskly. "Nice ta meetcha!"

"Nice to meet you too," Max says.

"How funny is my sister with all the picture taking?" she says playfully. "You'd think she prefers it to actual life!"

Maria and Eliza both watch Lulu as she talks to Max. "I don't like it," the two say in unison.

They look at each other. "It totally looks like she did that deliberately," Maria says.

"Forget looks like. She _did _do that deliberately," Eliza says scornfully. "I hate attention whores like her!"

"It's okay," Ema tells them quietly. "I'm used to it."

"Girl, you should _never_ have to get used to crap like that," Maria says. Ema shrugs and walks away. "Look at her! She's all beaten down and depressed! She didn't even try to put up a fight!"

"Well, she does have to live with that harpy." Eliza jerks a finger. "That kind of thing wears on you after a while."

"And you would know because?" Maria asked.

"Little sister. The devil incarnate," Eliza explained.

Chelsea waltzes over to Kit. "Hi, I'm Chelsea," she says, smiling brightly.

"Kit."

"Your fox is so cute!" She tries to pet him and Yang goes to bite her. She jerks her hand back quickly. "Just as cute as you!"

He gives her a look that clearly says, "Excuuuuuse me?"

She blinks. "I'll talk to you later." She walks away. "Or not," she mutters under her breath.

Next, Meena walks up to Kit. "Awww, your fox is adorable! What's his name?" She starts petting the fox and the fox actually lets her.

"He's Yang. And you are?"

"I'm Meena."

"Kit." The two pet Yang in silence for a moment. "Well, Yang certainly likes you. And he's normally a good judge of character." He pauses to think. "Well, unless you smell like burgers or chocolate. Then he won't like you no matter what."

Meena giggles. "Well, I'm flattered."

"She's such a dork," Parker says to Rick, poking a finger towards Ema. "Thank god that we have some hot girls here."

Rick gives him a disdainful look. "Dude, don't make fun of girls."

"Chill dude."

"You chill, _dude_," Rick replies sarcastically. He stomps away from him.

"What's his beef?" Zander asks, pulling himself onto the dock holding the weight.

"I dunno. He suddenly got really mad when I was talking about how hot the girls here are."

"Some of the girls here are pretty hot," Zander said, his gaze moving towards Eliza.

Parker laughed. "Dude, you like her?" he scoffed. "Do you have eyes?"

Zander decked him and Parker fell to the floor holding his eye. "And for the record, I do _not_ like her!"

Rick started to clap.

"My god, why is he clapping?" Eliza says. "That poor guy."

"Poor guy my ass," Zander mutters. He turns to Eliza and she freezes under his glare. Suddenly she bolts off the dock and Zander chases her. She giggles madly as she dashes into the jungle with Zander hot on her heels.

"Such freaks," Parker says.

"Dude, that so called _freak_ just gave you a black eye," Rick says, snickering.

"Shut up!" Parker snarls at him.

"Ah, drama," Chris says happily, flipping his phone closed. "Good thing we never stop filming!" He smiles and you can practically see dollar signs flashing in his eyes. "Good news people! The boat with all of the returning contestants has finally been fixed, so they should be coming any minute now!" He turns and looks at the ocean expectantly, as if that was the cue for it to arrive. "Any minute now…."

Suddenly everyone hears hysterical laughter getting closer and closer. Eliza and Zander burst out of the foliage. "Face…. So…. funny…." Eliza pants out between giggles. She points at Zander whose face is twisted into an angry glare. The two skid onto the dock and Zander grabs Eliza and throws her into the ocean. She surfaces and pushes her hair out of her eyes. "You got my hair all wet!" she whines at Zander.

"You threw my weight into the ocean," Zander counters.

"Touche," Eliza says. "I hear a boat!" she announces. Everyone turns and sees a large broken down cruise ship coming towards them slowly.

Izzy is jumping up and down on the deck waving frantically. Once the boat actually gets to the dock she flips over the railing and lands on the dock. "Hey everyone, how's it going, what's up with you guys, how've you been?" she asks, not stopping for air. "I'm super excited to be here and the ride here was awesome, I got to talk to Zeke for the first time when Eva tried to strangle him and I had to stop her when he started to turn blue!"

"So prairie boy's making some friends," Chris comments. The aforementioned prairie boy stepped off the boat and onto the dock.

"Well, we're not really friends, we're more like acquaintances or people who talk or people that know each other," Izzy explains. "And then I stole Chef's coffee and chugged it because I've never tasted coffee before and you know, it's really good!"

"Hi, Izzy!" Eliza says as she clambers onto the dock.

"Hi, Eliza! I was totally psyched to see you and talk to you and stuff!"

"Izzy. Take a chill pill and go stand on the end of the dock," Chris instructs her.

"Hahahaha, take a chill pill! You know, my mom says that to me all the time and I always tell her that I only have two speeds: off and full speed ahead!" She charges to the end of the dock.

Chris turns to Ezekiel. "So, Ezekiel. What's up?"

Ezekiel glances upward and comprehension dawns on his face. "Noo'thing much," he says.

"Dang!" Chris curses. "Was hoping to get you with that again. But anyway, good luck. Maybe you can even aim for the second episode this time!" he says sarcastically.

"Thanks, eh!" Ezekiel says, totally missing the sarcasm.

Eva gets off the boat and stalks straight past Chris. "Eva!" he says while she's passing him. "How's anger management treating you?" She ignores him and drops the bag of weights she was carrying on the end of the dock, narrowly missing Max's foot.

Noah's voice floats from the inside of the ship. "For the last time Lindsay, Tyler is _not_ here!" He stomps onto the deck, rolling his eyes. Lindsay follows.

"Are you Tyler?" Lindsay asks Chris.

"Yeah," Chris says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Several gasps of disgust are heard at the thought of Chris' pedophilia. "What? I was joking!" he tells the camera.

Lindsay doesn't seem to understand what he's talking about. "Are you sure that you're Tyler? I remember he wore red, and no offense, but red is soooo not your color!" She blinks her baby blue eyes several times in confusion.

"Lindsay, just go to the end of the dock," Chris says in annoyance.

"Okay!" she says happily.

Beth jumps off the boat next. "Hi guys!" she says, with no lisp. "Guess what? I got my braces off!" She flashes everyone a bright smile.

"That's nice Beth," Chris says with an utter lack of interest.

"Woohoo," Noah says sarcastically, shaking his hands in the air.

"Congrats Bella!" Lindsay says.

Duncan and Courtney get off the boat together. "So you two are together now!" Chris says excitedly.

"My lawyer said not to say anything that be used against me," Courtney says primly.

"How can that be used against you Princess?" Duncan says, snickering.

"You wouldn't understand Neanderthal!" Courtney raised her nose in the air, an act that was utterly defeated by the fact that Duncan was taller than her.

"Wait, are they together?" Chris asks. "I can't tell!"

"Trust me, nobody will ever figure them out," Heather says, setting her bags down. "It's 'cuz they're not normal."

"Shut it, Heather," Duncan says. Courtney shifts her glare from Duncan to Heather.

"C'mon, can't we all just get along?" DJ asks as he emerges from the boat.

"With them/her?" Duncan, Courtney, and Heather all say in unison. "Not a chance." DJ sighs.

"Now that that little love-fest is finish, we can get started!" Chris announces in glee. An intern drives onto the dock with a golf cart. "Everyone load your bags onto the cart!" Everyone complies and the intern drives away slowly. "Now, we could have given you all a chance to get your bearings and meet some of the other campers. But we thought it would be more fun to just get you started on the first challenge now!" Several jaws drop in shock.

"While the last season was sadistic, I get the feeling that this one is going to be worse," Noah mutters. Ema and DJ whimper.

"Now, the format for this season is going to be a little different," Chris explains. "Every challenge will be held on a different deserted island. We got the big bucks from selling Camp Wawanakwa as a tourist destination."

"Who the hell would ever want to go _there_?" Heather said.

"Don't interrupt," Chris says, glaring at her. "The challenges are that you have to get from one end of the island to the other. This challenge, it's everyone for themselves. The last two people to arrive at the other side of the island will be up for elimination. If you lose you will _not _get to the next island, you will _take _the Drop of Shame, and _enter _the Dormitory of Losers."

"Sounds…. depressing," Maria says.

"Oh it is. It is," Chris says, smirking. "Well," he claps his hands twice. "Chop, chop! Get started!"

Most of the contestants sprint into the woods while Ema and Noah hang back.

"Aren't you going to go run with the rest of them?" Ema asks Noah.

"And look like an imbecile? No thank you," Noah replies. He starts to pick his way slowly around the edge of the jungle. Ema follows him. "Why are you following me?" he asks rudely.

"You probably have a plan," she explains quietly. "You don't seem like the kind of person to just be lazy, so you probably have a plan."

"You didn't watch the first season then," Noah mutters bitterly.

"Oh I did," Ema explains. "You wouldn't have been useful even if you did play dodgeball. If you say you're not athletic, they shouldn't make you play. S'not your fault that you're not one for cheering." She looks down at the ground, embarrassed after talking so much. Noah glances at her in surprise.

"Perceptive," he says quietly. The two walk along the edge of the jungle in silence, unaware of the person following them.

* * *

In the jungle, Ezekiel was running for his life. Literally.

"I'm going to pulverize you, Homeschool!" Eva screams.

"_All I said was hi, eh!" he thinks desperately. "How is that insulting?"_

"You know, you should really stop bothering Zekey," Izzy tells Eva, running next to her easily. "I know you don't really hate him even though you chase him all the time and try to strangle him and stuff."

Eva stops short. "What do you mean by that?" she asks, her voice quiet and dangerous.

Izzy skids to a stop and chuckles. "Seriously, when was the last time he said anything sexist? You're carrying a real big grudge."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Eva says. She turns to peer through the thick foliage in front of her. "Damn. Lost him."

Izzy rolls her eyes. "You ought to be nicer to Zeke!"

Eva laughs and starts off in the direction that Ezekiel went.

* * *

"What was the point of running again?" Meena asks, breathing hard.

Kit sets Yang on the ground. "To separate from the pack. None of them have a good enough sense of direction to find the other side of the island now." He bends down next to Yang. "Civilization, please," he requests. Yang sniffs the air and sets off. Kit follows behind him. "You coming?" he asks Meena.

"Oh! Yeah," she says, hurrying to catch up.

* * *

"Why are you following me?" Parker asks in frustration. Beth smiles unsurely.

"'_Cause your hot? 'Cause you seem cool? 'Cause I want to be friends with you?" she thinks. _

"_Out of all the girls here, the ugly one has to fall for me?" Parker thinks._

_

* * *

_

"This place is so gross," Heather comments to herself. She stares at the large swamp in front of her in disgust. If she was looking behind her, she wouldn't have leaned so far over the mud. She sees a flash of blonde hair as a small push on the back sends her hurtling into the mud.

"That's for being so mean," Lindsay says, frowning down at Heather. Heather opens her mouth indignantly and gets a mouthful of mud. She starts to struggle as Lindsay walks away and only sinks further into the ground.

"Wait, is this quicksand?" Heather says in horror. "Lindsay!" The blonde doesn't even turn around.

* * *

"Where the hell am I?" Rick wonders aloud. He hears rustling in the bushes and decides to move along before whatever it is shows itself.

* * *

Ezekiel was once again running for his life. After escaping Eva, he had discovered one of the 'less friendly' inhabitants of the jungle.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screams, as a large, angry panther chases him through the jungle. In his hurry, he manages to trip over almost every tree root or plant in his way. Ezekiel had become quite adept at running away from things that were large and angry. Namely, Eva. He just wasn't good at it in the thick jungle.

In an attempt to shake off the panther, he jumps into a large stream that is running through his path. The panther follows. _"Shoot! I thought cats didn't like water!" he thinks. _Suddenly, the panther swims to the opposite bank. He looks confused for a moment, until he notices the large roaring coming from behind him. He opens his mouth to scream again just as he starts to go over the waterfall.

His shriek pierces the jungle.

* * *

"What was that?" Lindsay wonders. She shrugs, disregarding the scream, and goes back to contemplating how to get across the stream. "I guess I'll swim," she says. She steps into the water.

* * *

"Why are you following me, Neanderthal?" Courtney asks scornfully.

Duncan raises his bushy eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about, Princess. You're the one following me."

"Why would I be following a criminal like you?" she scoffs.

"'Cuz you like me," Duncan explains to her, stating the obvious. "Duh."

"Do not!" Courtney claims vehemently.

"Do too," Duncan argues obnoxiously.

"Do not!" Courtney glares at him. He looks back coolly.

"Do not."

"Do too!" Her face screws up in confusion and he laughs.

"I knew it, Princess," he says, much to Courtney's annoyance.

"Are they together or not?" Maria whispers to Max, looking away from the two arguing in front of them.

"I'm sure they are."

"How do you kno-. Oh." Maria notices what Max was looking at. Duncan and Courtney are standing in the clearing, making out.

* * *

Lindsay is running around, shrieking. Several piranhas cling to her clothes persistently.

* * *

"DJ! DJ! Help me!" Heather calls after she sees the gentle giant.

"Are you okay, Heather?" he asks, pausing.

"Do I look okay?" she says incredulously, gesturing at the quicksand around her waist. "Help me!" He grabs her arms and starts to pull her out of the quicksand with some difficulty. Heather is almost completely out of the quicksand when he slips and falls in himself. Heather pulls the rest of her foot out of the quicksand and stands up.

"Could you help me?" DJ asks.

"Are you kidding? No way! That would hurt my chances," Heather says, walking away. "I wonder if there's a stream I could wash off in," she muses.

* * *

"Parker?" Beth calls. "Parker, where are you?"

Parker inches around the tree and walks off. _"Thank god. Looking at her face was giving me a migraine. And she insisted on __**talking**__ to me! She's such a dork!" he thinks. _

_

* * *

_

Zander is standing by the edge of the river. _"How exactly am I going to get across this?" he thinks. "It has a strong current, there's a waterfall, and it's too wide for me to swim." _He hears giggling from behind him and is suddenly pushed headfirst into the river. He surfaces, sputtering, and sees Eliza standing on the shore, gloating.

"That's for earlier!" she says. He starts to swim desperately but is beaten by the current. He screams as he plummets over the waterfall. "Oops," she says, slightly bothered. She shrugs and her worry disappears. "Oh well, he'll be fine."

Zander splashes into the pool at the bottom of the waterfall, narrowly missing a large rock. He swims to shore quickly, hoping to avoid anything that might be living in the pool. Onshore he sees Ezekiel unconscious on the ground, bleeding from a large wound on his head. "Ouch," he says, studying the wound.

* * *

Ema took a deep breath, finally mustering her courage to say something again. "So, your name is Noah right?"

"Yeah. And you are?" Noah asks. He got no answer. _"Does she have to think about what her name is?" he thinks. _Finally, after waiting for an answer that didn't come, he turned around. Ema was no longer behind him. "Huh. That's weird."

* * *

Ema struggles as Lulu ties her up. "I hate you!" Ema yells at her.

"Thank you!" Lulu says, smiling at her sister.

"Why are you doing this?"

"We can't have you making friends now, can we?" Lulu says, still smiling sweetly.

"At least everyone will know what a terrible person you are now," Ema mutters.

Lulu laughs. "No they won't. I disabled the cameras around here."

Ema glares at her, conveying exactly how much she wanted to get back at her sister. Lulu pats her on the head. "Don't look at me like that. I just don't want you to stand out more than me."

"Attention whore," Ema says. She bites Lulu as soon as Lulu's hand gets close enough to her face.

"Ugh. Animal," Lulu says, nursing her hand. She gets up and walks away, leaving Ema tied up.

Ema rolls her eyes. She manages to pull her the long sleeves on her thick shirt up and pulls her wrist together. This makes the rope loose enough that she can push it up her arm, bend her wrists around, and untie it.

"_You'd think that she would check that I'm not using any tricks. It's not like this is the first time she's tried this," she thinks as she starts to untie her ankles._

_

* * *

_

"_Where did she go?" Noah wonders. _

"Hey!" Lulu waves at Noah as she jogs toward him. "Your name is Noah right?"

Noah nods apprehensively. "Do you know where my sister, Ema, is?" she asks. "I saw her running off somewhere in a hurry. She looked really annoyed about something."

Noah shrugged. "I was walking with her a second ago, but I don't know about after that," he says.

"Oh, I wasn't implying that she was annoyed at you or anything!" Lulu assures him.

He narrows his eyes. _"Something's fishy about this whole conversation," he thinks. _"I'm sure you weren't," he replies dryly. He continues walking.

"You seem really nice, Noah!" she announces, following him. "I think we'll be good friends!"

"_I think not," he thinks. "I have met very few people that are as fake as you. You know, having sisters really prepares you for stuff like this."_

_

* * *

_

"I so don't-"Courtney starts to say.

"Courtney!" Duncan interrupts her. He tackles her and the two fall the ground a few feet from their original position.

"What are you doing?" she asks indignantly. He points at the large snake that she was about to step on.

"Anaconda," he says.

"Oh. Thank you," she says grudgingly.

* * *

Chelsea finally steps outside the jungle. "You know, traveling on your own is really much more efficient," she says to herself. She sees Rizo standing in the distance. "Really works for him," she mutters, walking towards him. She looks around and notices the long strip of road randomly running through the beach.

Eliza suddenly bursts out of the jungle. "I've finally caught up to you Chelsea!" she yells. She throws shuriken at Chelsea. Chelsea ducks, avoiding the projectile weapons. Chelsea grabs Eliza by the wrist and stares at the threatening spikes attached to her knuckles.

"What are those?" Chelsea asks incredulously.

Eliza grins. "Shuko. You like?" She knocks Chelsea's feet out from under her. Chelsea hits the ground and immediately rolls to the side, avoiding Eliza's follow-up punch. She quickly gets to her feet. Eliza sighs. "I totally didn't want to resort to this…. But I guess I'll just pull out all the stops!" She throws a small pellet to the ground and the air fills with smoke.

Chelsea coughs. She looks around nervously, trying to see Eliza through the smokescreen. A shadow flickers in front of her and she lashes out at it. Her fist connects with hard wood and a large log crashes to the ground.

"Damn!" she curses. The smoke starts to clear and there is no sign of Eliza. Suddenly, Chelsea gasps and you see Eliza standing behind her. Eliza pulls her fist out of Chelsea's shoulder and blood leaks down Chelsea's back. Chelsea turns to face her and assumes a fighting stance. "Then I'll get serious too," she says, her eyes narrowing. Both girls watch each other warily.

"Stop it, you two!" Zander calls. He emerges from the jungle, carrying an unconscious Ezekiel over his shoulder. "Save it for later." The two girls relax slightly. "Did you take care of the cameras?"

Eliza nods at a camera that's attached to a tree. It is smoking and has a shuriken sticking out of it.

A fox sticks its nose out of the foliage and lets out a bark. Kit and Meena emerge from the forest. "Thanks, Yang," Kit says, picking him up.

Meena starts to pull twigs and leaves out of her hair. _"That fox just went straight through __**everything**__! And it didn't slow down!" she thinks._

Izzy's voice was heard. "And then I went with the giant anteater and decided to-"

"SHUT UP!" Eva roars. "Do you ever stop talking?"

Izzy and Eva stepped out of the forest and headed towards the group of contestants. "No. Not really," Izzy replies.

* * *

DJ turned his head towards the sky as he sunk farther into the quicksand. He was up to his neck and after a few more minutes, he would be no more. He heard footsteps coming towards him. "-Elp!" he croaked. "Help!"

Chris Maclean's face appeared above his. "Dude, you are so out of this challenge. Why the hell did you help Heather?"

* * *

Noah mimes strangling himself for the cameras while Lulu chatters on about cheerleading. He notices the crowd of contestants on the road in front of him. "Thank God!" he says, clasping his hands and looking up at the sky.

"Yes! We're here!" Lulu says, completely oblivious to the fact that Noah was making fun of her.

Ema, who was following them from just inside the jungle, rushes to get to the crowd of contestants.

* * *

"I told you we shouldn't have taken a left there!" Courtney says angrily. Duncan rolls his eyes.

"I doubt we would have gotten there any faster if we took a right," he says.

"Do they ever stop arguing?" Max asks.

"Only when they kiss," Maria says sarcastically. Max trips over a tree root and Maria stops him from falling on his face.

"Oh look, the other side of the island," Duncan says smugly, smirking at her.

"Whatever," Courtney mutters as they step into the sunlight.

Chris pulls up to the group of contestants on a golf cart. He hops off and surveys the group. "So Parker, Rick, DJ, Heather, and Lindsay are still missing," he says.

"And Beth," Courtney reminds him.

"Whatever," he says.

"Hey, can we get some medical assistance?" Zander asks. He points to Ezekiel, who has a bandage wrapped around his head and is still unconscious.

Chris tries not to laugh and fails miserably. "We don't have any out here," he says, wiping his eyes in mirth. Many jaws drop.

"What happens if we get injured? For example, if one of us was mauled by a bear!" Courtney says.

"Oh, there are no bears on this island. Only some panthers, wild boars, piranhas, and some other dangerous animals," Chris says cheerfully.

A scream is heard and Rick charges out of the jungle with a wild boar on his tail. He runs in circles for a minute and everyone watches in shock.

"Do something!" Courtney yells at Chris.

Chris shrugs. "Nuthin' I can do."

Eliza sighs and pulls out a blow dart. Rick runs past them and she shoots the boar with the dart. It sinks to the ground, unconscious. She quickly hides the blow dart.

"Awww, who did that?" Chris asks, disappointed.

Parker saunters out of the jungle and sees the unconscious boar. "Dude, what happened?" he asks. Nobody answers him.

After another minute or two, Heather wanders out of the jungle. "Damn, I was hoping she'd get eliminated," Courtney says under her breath. Several others murmur their agreement.

* * *

"Where am I supposed to go again?" Lindsay says. The only sound that answers her is the rustling of the trees.

* * *

"Where the hell are they?" Duncan asks. "We've been waiting for like, an hour!"

"Actually, it's only been 52 minutes," Chris says obnoxiously. "And we're only waiting for two more people. DJ's already been eliminated." He hears rustling from the jungle. "Speak of the devil."

Beth steps out of the jungle, her face scratched up and her hair full of twigs. She walks slowly to the group. "Am I last?" she asks.

Chris nods. "Yep." Her face falls. "You're last to be safe!" he says finally. She smiles in relief.

More rustling from the jungle brings everyone's attention back there. Lindsay emerges, quite a sight to see. Her clothes were in tatters. All the guys' jaws dropped, and several of them started to drool. Her shirt was shredded so much that you could see her neon pink bra through it and her skirt wasn't covering much at all. Her prized cowboy boots were full of bite marks. "The fish here are mean," she announces, frowning. Chelsea, Lulu, Courtney, and Eliza started to scowl at her.

"Wow…. Lindsay," Chris says, ogling her. "Sadly, you're still up for elimination."

"Really?" she says. "Darn."

Suddenly, a loud roaring was heard from above them and Chris hopped back onto his golf cart. He drove away quickly while the contestants watched him in confusion. "Oh my god!" Beth yells, pointing at the sky. She started to run after the golf cart as everyone looked at where she had pointed. A large plane was coming straight for them, landing gear ready. The contestants scattered, running for their lives.

Thankfully, when the plane landed, nobody died. "Are you insane?" Courtney yells at Chris.

He gets out of his golf cart and laughs. "Just get on the plane," he says. The contestants follow his instructions and troop onto the plane. They sink into seats, tired after their day of trekking through the jungle. A voice comes on the loudspeaker, and all the old campers groan.

"Welcome to Chris Airlines," Chef says. "We're leaving now, so buckle up."

"There aren't any seat belts!" Parker complained.

Chef stuck his head out of the front cockpit with an annoyed expression on his face. "You think I care? I'm not paid enough to," he yells at them.

"Cool! No seatbelts!" Izzy yells.

"Now now Chef," Chris says. "Everyone ready for departure?"

"DJ's not here," Beth says.

"We're leaving him behind for now," Chris explains. "That quicksand worked way to well," he mutters.

"Quicksand?" Maria said incredulously.

"So guys, on this plane we've got our very own… Turbulent Confessional!" Chris announces.

"Who came up with that name?" Izzy asks, cocking an eyebrow at him.

He crosses his arms and glares at her. "I did, for that matter. Got a problem with it?"

"Yeah, it's stupid," Izzy says.

"Whatever. It's at the end of the plane. Mention who you want to vote off, okay?"

"Dude, how is Ezekiel going to vote?" Zander asks.

Chris shrugs. "Not my problem. He steps into the cockpit, closing the door behind him.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Zander: I'm kind of worried for Ezekiel. The dude is totally dead to the world. I never would have found him if Eliza hadn't pushed me into the river. (He frowns.) That totally wasn't cool. I have to get her back for that. So, I guess I have to choose between DJ and Lindsay? I definitely have to choose DJ. I watched the last season, and he is such a wimp! Half the time, he freaks out at a crucial moment and ruins the challenge for the team. Lindsay is a liability too, but at least you can control what she does most of the time. DJ will just randomly freak out. If he gets voted off, then I have no chance of being on a team with him. (He chuckles.) And Lindsay is hot.

_

Chelsea: I totally wish I could vote off Kit. Or Eliza. God, she is so annoying! She just won't stop attacking me. I'm going to get a scar from where she stabbed me. (She rubs her shoulder.) And Kit….. He totally blew me off! Something must be wrong with him. He _was_ cute but he seems totally antisocial. I guess I have to choose between Lindsay and DJ though. I've got to vote off Lindsay. DJ is pretty hot. Lindsay is too hot. She'll distract the guys from me. (She narrows her eyes.) And I don't like that.

_

Rizo: DJ.

_

Max: DJ.

_

Rick: DJ.

_

Duncan: Man, Lindsay is hot! Especially with those clothes… Princess would look hotter like that though. Oh wait, I hope she isn't listening…. (He pauses and waits nervously for a second.) But I'm going to vote off DJ. Lindsay is too hot to send off now, even though she has the brains of a brick wall.

_

Courtney: I'm voting off Lindsay, that little sl**! If she thinks she can steal all the guys here with that kind of get-up, she has another thing coming!

_

Lindsay: (She tugs on her almost non-existent shirt.) I asked Chris if I could get a change of clothes. I don't think he was listening. He didn't even look at my face. He only looked down…. What do you think he was looking at? (She pauses to contemplate the very obvious answer to the question.) Oh well. I guess we'll never know! But he did say that we had to vote right? I heard that Lisa and DJ are up for the vote. I don't know who Lisa is, but DJ is nice. I guess I'll vote for Lisa then.

_

Chris: Why the hell do the contestants insist on destroying my cameras? I'm sure I missed some great footage…..

* * *

Izzy was curled up in her chair, rocking back and forth. "It'll be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay," she muttered.

Eva stares at her. "Why did I get stuck sitting next to her," she mutters. She notices Ezekiel slumped in the seat across from her, still unconscious. "Hey, can I switch with Homeschool there?" she asks Zander, who was sitting next to him.

Zander shrugs. "If you move him."

Eva stands up and hoists Ezekiel into the seat next to Izzy. She sits down just as Ezekiel stirs. He sits up slowly. He winces and holds his head. "Ow!"

Izzy, distracted by Ezekiel, turns to him. "Are you okay?" she asks.

"I think so, eh. Where am I?" he asks.

"You missed most of the challenge," Zander explains, leaning towards them. "We have to vote between Lindsay and DJ."

Ezekiel blinks a few times. "Oo'kay," he finally says.

"Hold on to your hats ladies and germs!" Chris yells over the loudspeaker. The plane takes a sudden drop and all the contestants suddenly found their hearts in their mouths. Izzy starts to scream. The drop suddenly stops and the plane starts to ascend again. Izzy doesn't stop screaming. Ezekiel holds his head, getting an even worse headache.

"Izzy! Izzy!" he says in an attempt to get her to stop screaming. He starts to snap his fingers in front of her face. She blinks a few times and stops screaming.

"Oh… Sorry," she says.

"It's oo'kay," he says pleasantly. "You oo'kay?"

She draws her knees to her chest. "Kind of."

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Izzy: Awww, that was so nice of Zekey! He totally changed after Total Drama Island. He took a Sexists Anonymous class and turned a new leaf! He was trying to apologize to everyone on the boat but he only got to apologize to me and Eva. Eva started to strangle him for some reason. Yeah, it didn't go so well. But it was still a nice thing to do! And then he listened to my story about the alligators in the sewers! And the one about my great-grandma and her pet sweater. And the one about my cousin who had a monkey. (You hear a banging on the door.)

Heather: Hurry up, Izzy! We don't care about your stupid monkey cousin!

Izzy: He's not actually a monkey! He just has unfortunately large ears! Oh…. Sorry, Larry!

Heather: Just vote already!

Izzy: Fine. Whatever, I'll vote for DJ. Happy now?

_

Heather: Finally, she's out of here. Took her long enough. (You hear banging on the door.)

Izzy: Hurry up! (She says it in a snotty voice that is obviously imitating Heather.)

Heather: Shut up! Okay, I'm totally going to vote for Lindsay. She is holding a huge grudge and-

Izzy: We don't care about your stupid grudge!

Heather: Izzy, get a life!

Izzy: Only people without lives themselves say that.

Heather: …. I'm going to kill you.

Izzy: Ooooh, she's going to kill me.

Heather: (She gets up and the camera turns off.)

_

Lulu: (She is smiling a lot and talking a sickly sweet voice.) I thought my plan went well but somehow she escaped. Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway, because she didn't stand out in this episode at all. I'm going to vote for Lindsay because she stands out too much. She takes attention away from everyone else. (She looks down and starts to mutter to herself.) And me.

_

Ema: I guess that my wish to make friends on this show was too good to be true. Like always, Lulu is going to ruin everything. And she'll make sure that nobody knows that she was the bad guy. (She sighs.) I'm going to vote off DJ because he seemed totally useless in the last season. But Lindsay was too… Oops, maybe I should change my vote. Can I do that?

_

Ezekiel: I have a huge headache, eh! I doo'nt even knoo' what happened during the challenge. I fell doo'n the water fall because of the panther. And then I crawled oo'nto the shoor. But then I doo'nt knoo' what happened. (He rubs his head absentmindedly.) I guess I'll vote fur DJ. He's a little bit cowardly, eh.

_

Kit: Meena is nice. (He has a small smile on his face.) I'm voting for Lindsay.

_

Parker: Man, the people here are really weird. Don't get me started on them. I'm going to vote for DJ.

_

Meena: Kit is kind of nice, but he doesn't talk much. I spent most of my time with him trying desperately to keep up with Yang. I wonder if I could get him to loosen up…. Oh, I'm voting for DJ.

_

Eva: I'm voting for Lindsay. She's such an idiot! Just because she's got good looks… (She starts to mutter to herself.)

_

Eliza: I'm voting off Lindsay. I can't believe she showed up like that and she's still wearing it. She's acting like it's some sort of fashion statement. And then all the guys were _drooling_ over her. Even Zander was all ga-ga about her. What's she got that I don't? Zander never looked at me like that. Not that it bothers me that he doesn't.

_

Beth: I'm voting off DJ. My mom said that my world would open up when I got my braces off, so I might have a chance of being friends with people as cool and gorgeous as Parker and Lindsay.

_

Noah: If I could vote off Lulu, I would. I trust her as far as I could throw her. Trust me, I know that kind of stuff. I have sisters. As it is, I'm going to vote off Lindsay. If she was any more idiotic, she wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time.

* * *

Chris' voice crackles over the loudspeaker. "Attention campers. We have our loser for today! Originally, we had a whole dramatic ceremony-type thing planned but that went down the toilet when DJ got stuck in some quicksand. Lindsay, you're safe."

She squeals and bounces in her seat.

"Despite the fact that you voted for yourself. Seriously, how stupid can you be?"

She blinks a few times and looks confused while everyone else rolls their eyes.

"We'll be landing at our next destination soon. Everyone get ready."

"Get ready for what?" Beth asks.

The plane drops a couple of thousand feet and Izzy starts to scream again.

* * *

A/N: Congrats to me! This is the longest chapter I've ever written of anything! It's over 8,000 words!

Also, everyone please give my amazing beta, HouroftheRaven, a hand! I'd like to thank him for reading over my hideously long chapter and helping me with my tenses. Gracias!

Well, what do you guys think of the OC's? Can you keep track of some of them? Do you know who the RCMP people are? Do you want to guess?

I'll see you next time on

Total!

Drama!

RCMP!


	3. Day One, Part Two: Midnight Melee

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI.... *cries*... oh well.

**When we last left our hapless contestants:**

**They were on a junky plane, piloted by Chef to who knows where........**

* * *

"Izzy?" Ezekiel says slowly.

"Yeah, Zeke?" Izzy says cheerfully.

"We've landed, eh. Could yoo' let go of my hand?" he says, clenching his teeth in pain. Izzy releases his hand from her killer grip and laughs sheepishly.

"Sorry. Thanks for letting me hold your hand. It really helped with the fear!" Ezekiel nods and smiles at her while shaking his hand in pain.

"Okay, contestants!" Chris says cheerfully from the front of the plane. "We've landed. Everyone off the plane. Head off the tarmac, to the right," he orders them.

The contestants oblige, and they congregate in a huddle. Chris eyes them like a wolf looking at a herd of sheep. Or in this case, a sadistic reality TV show host eying the group of teens that his salary depends on. "Okay guys! This is where you're sleeping. The confessional is over there." He points at a derelict shack on top of a hill. As everyone looks, the shack sways in the wind. The contestants start to murmur and scope out the place they will be sleeping. They are standing in a large grassy area surrounded by large hills. Chef stomps out of the plane and tosses large bundles to the contestants. Fourteen of the large bundles bounce, rattle, roll, and clank towards the contestants. "That's your dinner and sleeping bag," Chris announces gleefully. Beth raises her hand. "Yes, Beth?"

"I don't think there are enough," she says.

Chris grins. "I guess you'll just have to make sure you get one then! Have fun!" Chef pulls up next to him in a golf cart. He waves goodbye and hops onto the cart. The two zoom off to who knows where.

The contestants spend a moment looking at each other until Izzy interrupts the silence. "Every man for himself!" she shrieks. She dives towards the pile of bundles. Her shriek brings everyone out of their reverie and they all dash towards the pile. They pounce upon the bundles and start to fight amongst themselves for the precious bags. When the fight calms down, those with bags separate from the others.

"AHA!" Izzy yells. "I emerge victorious!" She hops around, pumping one arm in the air. Ezekiel stands next to her without a bag.

"Awww, dang! I didn't get a pack," Rick groans.

"Me neither," Lindsay whines.

"Same," Beth says regretfully. She sidles up to Parker and looks up at him with a worshipful look in her eyes. His lips curl in distaste.

Kit picks up Yang and heads towards the edge of the clearing without a bundle.

"I need a sleeping bag!" Courtney screeches. "This is an outrage!"

"You could always share with me, Princess," Duncan says. He waggles his eyebrows at her and she huffs angrily.

"No way, Neanderthal. I need my own sleeping bag." He sighs and offers his up to her. She takes it from him and flashes him a quick smile. It lasts about a micro-second.

Eliza saunters up to him and smiles seductively. "You could share with me if you want," she says to Duncan, tilting her head flirtatiously.

"No!" Courtney says forcefully. "That's just wrong! And if he's going to sleep with anyone it'll be…" She stops suddenly and resists the urge to slap her hand up to her mouth. Duncan raises his eyebrows and smirks at her while Eliza snickers.

"You clearly rejected him," Eliza points out. "He's fair game." Courtney opens her mouth to object but Maria drags Eliza away before Courtney can say anything.

"What are you doing!" Maria hisses. "Do you have no shame?"

Eliza actually contemplates the question. "Well, people tell me I have no morals all the time. I actually just think that my morals are kind of flawed. Besides, I love the bad boys." She smiles brightly.

Maria tries to keep a straight face but fails dismally and starts to chuckle. "You're so weird."

"I get that a lot," Eliza replies. She giggles.

* * *

The Confessional: Morally flawed

Maria: Somehow, you just can't hate her!

___

Eliza: I can't believe that I didn't notice that guy earlier! He's seriously yummy.

* * *

The contestants slowly start to eat. Those with the packs shared with those without them and dinner ended uneventfully. Everyone starts to disperse and get ready to sleep.

Ema wanders around taking pictures of the clearing until she sees Rick trying to find a place to sleep comfortably. "Um," she says quietly. He doesn't look up. "Um, hi," she says, a bit louder. He notices her and stands up. "Your name's Rick, right?"

"Yeah," he says, smiling warmly.

"_He seems nice," Ema thinks._

"_Okay, Rick. You've only got one chance here! You've made a bad impression on some of the other girls. Don't blow this!" Rick thinks._

"You needed a sleeping bag, right?" Ema says. Rick nods. "You want mine?" Rick just looks at her, slightly incredulous that she was offering him her sleeping bag in favor of sleeping on the hard ground. "I'm used to sleeping on the ground," she says, seeing his expression. "My sister moved into my room because hers is being painted." Her face falls and she clams up visibly.

"Oh," Rick says. "Uh, thanks, but no thanks."

Lulu sails towards the two and stops in front of Rick. "Hi!" she says. "You're Rick, right?"

"Yeah. And you are?" he replies.

"Lulu," she says. "I was just wondering, do you have a sleeping bag?"

He shakes his head no. "Your sister offered me one though."

Lulu's smile grows wider. "Isn't she sweet?"

"Yeah, she is," Rick agrees sincerely.

Ema smiles shyly. "Thanks," she says quietly.

"You know, you could always borrow my sleeping bag," Lulu says. "Ema and I could share one. You wouldn't mind that, would you, Ema?"

"Of course not," Ema says stiffly. Lulu hands over her sleeping bag to Rick.

"Thanks a lot, Lulu," Rick says happily.

"No prob," Lulu replies cheerfully. She slings her arm around Ema and leads her away. "I get the bag and you get the ground, kay?" she whispers into Ema's ear. Ema pushes her away and stares at her with a pained expression on her face. Lulu matches her gaze and Ema drops her eyes. She starts to walk away. "You're used to it anyway," Lulu calls after her.

Ema grabs her sleeping bag and tosses it to Lulu violently. Lulu catches it and smiles sweetly. "Thank you, sister dear," Lulu says in a sugary tone of voice.

Ema stalks away and huddles near the foot of one of the hills. Maria and Eliza, who saw the whole thing, approach her.

"You okay?" Maria asks in concern.

"I'm fine," Ema whispers.

"Want to have my sleeping bag?" Eliza asks. She holds out the sleeping bag. "I sleep on the ground a lot. And grass is actually pretty comfortable."

"No, keep it," Ema replies.

Eliza smiles warmly. "Well, I'll just leave it here then." She places it on the ground next to Ema. Both she and Maria walk away. After they leave, Ema gets up slowly and unrolls the sleeping bag. She slips inside and sighs loudly.

* * *

The Confessional: Sister Dearest My ***

Ema: I hate her. I really do. And I can't do anything about her. (She sighs.)

* * *

Ezekiel shivers as the wind whistles through the clearing. Eva sees him out of the corner of her eye and Izzy's words echo in her mind.

"_You ought to be nicer to Zeke!"_

She sighs and walks over to Ezekiel. "Here," she says gruffly. She tosses her sleeping bag at the shivering homeschooled teen. "I need to train my body against the cold."

"Th-thanks," he says gratefully. She stalks away and he smiles hopefully at her back. _"Maybe she's coming around, eh!" he thinks._ He crawls into her sleeping bag. Only a few feet away from him, Heather is curled up, shivering on the ground. She starts to breathe on her hands and Ezekiel notices how cold she is. He regretfully gets out of the warm sleeping bag and pulls it over to Heather. "Here yoo' go, eh," he says.

She looks at him distrustfully. "Why are you giving this to me?" she asks.

"Yoo' looked cold, eh," he says quietly. He goes back to his original position and huddles on the ground. Heather watches him for a moment, expecting him to take it back. After he doesn't move for a minute, she quickly slips into the warmth of the sleeping bag.

Eva's eyes narrow as she sees Heather getting into her sleeping bag. She gets up to do something about it. Izzy pops up beside her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "What?" Eva snarls at her.

"Don't bother them," Izzy advises her.

"Why not?" Eva asks, genuinely puzzled.

"Well, if Zekey gave Heather the sleeping bag, he obviously wants her to have it," Izzy explains.

"Why would he give it to _Heather_?" Eva asks. She grimaces as she says Heather's name.

"He's a nice person," Izzy says simply.

* * *

The Confessional: Nice? What's that?

Eva: Who's that nice of a person?

* * *

Eventually everyone settled down and one by one they all dropped off to sleep.

* * *

"Psst."

"Psst."

"Pssssst!"

"..."

"PSSSST!"

Eliza rolls over and groans.

"Wake up now!"

She finally sits up and opens her eyes. "Izzy, this better be good." She rubs her eyes. Squatting next to her are Izzy and Chelsea.

"We're having a competition," Izzy whispers. "Help us wake up the rest of them and meet us on the other side of that hill." She smiles gleefully and points at a hill. Eliza huffs and gets up. The three of them quickly wake the other RCMP Most Wanted List members and all of them head over the hill. On the other side of the hill is a large, fast flowing river.

"Okay guys," Chelsea announces. "Is everyone here?"

"Number one's here," Izzy says. She nods to Rizo. "You're number two. Eliza's number three. Zander's five. Meena's six. I'm seven. Where's four?" She turns to Chelsea. "I haven't seen her at all. Didn't you use your mad hacking skills to take care of getting everyone on the show?"

Chelsea shrugs. "Mica insisted on doing it her way. I'm sure she's here somewhere. I'm just not sure who she is this time."

"Oh well. She'll turn up sometime," Izzy says, nonchalant. "Let's explain the competition!" She grins and rubs her hands together in glee. "So, at night, we're going to have these competition thingys! Two people compete. They fight it out in either a competition for brains or for brawn! If you beat someone you take their spot." She pauses. "Oh, and if you get voted off the show, you automatically get put in last place. Any questions?" She doesn't wait for an answer before continuing. "Good. Then let's get started. Today's fight is Rizo versus Chelsea!" She sticks her hands out to Rizo. "Right or left?"

Rizo mutters something unintelligible from underneath his hood. Izzy nods. "Left it is then!" She opens her hand and reads the word written on it. "All out brawl!" she yells.

"Wait, Izzy," Eliza says. "Do I need to watch this?"

"It'll be fun!" Izzy says cheerfully.

"Not my question," Eliza says irritably. "Do I need to watch this?"

"It'll be fun!" Izzy repeats.

"I'm going back to sleep," Eliza says. She heads back towards the clearing. Zander follows her.

* * *

The Confessional: Getting Sleep Is Not a Requirement

Izzy: Party poopers. (She crosses her arms across her chest.) Hmph!

* * *

"You leaving too?" Izzy asks Meena.

"Nah. I'll watch," Meena says. She sits down on the grass.

Izzy turns her attention back to Rizo and Chelsea. "Are the contestants ready?" she says in her best game show host voice. Chelsea nods and Rizo's hood moves a fraction of an inch. "Fight!" Izzy hollers.

Chelsea shoots forward towards Rizo and attempts to land a punch on him. He dodges easily to the right. Chelsea follows her punch with a roundhouse kick. Rizo avoids it by propelling himself backwards. He slides backwards a few feet and lands close to the edge of the river.

Chelsea casts an uneasy glance at the water and resumes a fighting stance. She comes near him warily and tries again to punch him. Rizo blocks it with his arm. His hand flashes out and Chelsea crumples to the ground, unconscious.

Izzy blinks a few times, disappointed that the fight ended so soon. "Chelsea is unable to fight," she announces. "Rizo is the winner."

"What did he just do?" Meena wonders, still staring at the scene in front of her incredulously.

"He hit one of her vital points," Izzy explains. She rolls her eyes. "I was hoping for a better fight. Sadly, Chelsea isn't quite up to his standard. I dunno why the RCMP insists on making her second. Some of us are definitely better than her."

Meena looks at her weirdly. "I don't think they rank us the same way you do."

Izzy smiles happily. "Well that's why we're doing this. So we can get them to rank us right." Rizo walks back over to them with Chelsea flung over his shoulder. "Congrats, Rizo!" Izzy says cheerfully. She waltzes over to him and glomps onto him. She tilts her head as if listening to something. Rizo's hood moves a bit.

"Well, I didn't really think about what we were going to do with her when I planned this," Izzy says, tapping her chin with her finger.

His hood moves slightly again.

"I do so think about stuff when I plan it!" Izzy protested. "I just didn't think about that." She pauses, listening. "I guess we could do that."

* * *

The Confessional: Audibility is an issue.

Meena: Does she have really super good hearing or something? I swear, I never heard him say a word, but she was having a whole conversation with him.

__

Izzy: Rizo hasn't changed a bit. Did you know we dated?

__

Eliza: I am not a morning person really. If I don't get enough sleep, I can't focus well or do anything. I walked into a wall once when I got up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night. I'm going to have to run on adrenaline to be able to do these competition thingys.

__

Rizo: ……………………..letdown……………………………..easy…….beat…….

* * *

A/N: Haha! I went deeper into my character's personalities! YAY!

Sorry, this chapter is a lot shorter than my other one. I think that's how the rest of them will go. Part one of the day will probably be long while part two will be shorter. But don't hold me to that.

Who was amused by the identities of the Most Wanted List members?


	4. Day Two: Part One: Rushing River

Disclaimer: Total Drama Island does not belong to me, it belongs to some TV people.

* * *

(Chris narrates)

Last time on Total Drama Journey….. Twenty-two contestants arrived on a deserted island. They trekked through the massive jungle filled with dangers unknown.

Rizo came in first place, though he had almost no screen time because he did nothing interesting. DJ secured a solid last place while trapped in quicksand. That's what you get for helping Heather, dude.

In a semi-undramatic ceremony, DJ was voted off, even though Lindsay voted herself off in a moment of stupidity. Will there be love? Will there be hate? Will there be alliances?

Of course! Because this is…..

Total…. Drama….. Journey!

(Theme Song)

* * *

Beth lifts up her head groggily, semi-awake. She was used to getting up early from her life on the farm. She looks up at the top of the hill where there is a figure standing directly in front of the slowly rising sun.

It's Chris with a bullhorn.

"RISE AND SHINE CAMPERS!" he yells into the bullhorn.

"Damn that man," Eva mutters.

"I hope he's paid back for all the misery he causes us one day," Noah says, rather articulate for someone that's just been jerked suddenly from sleep.

"GET OVER HERE TO GET YOUR BREAKFAST!" Chris screamed into the bullhorn. He jerks his finger behind him and walks down opposite side of the hill.

The contestants slowly ambled over the hill and met Chef standing in front of a table with a large bowl of ….. something in front of him.

"What _is _that?" Maria asks, staring at the slop in Chef's bowl.

"You have a problem with it?" Chef says darkly. He raises a ladle full of soup threateningly and a tentacle flops out of the bowl. He smacks the tentacle back into the bowl and soup goes flying. Max gets hit in the face with a glop of it and starts to run around blindly. "AHHHH!" he screams. "IT BURNS!" He runs smack into Ema and she hurriedly wipes the stuff off his face.

"You okay?" she asks in concern.

"Yep!" He gives her a thumbs up. "That kind of thing happens to me all the time!"

"We really have to eat this?" Courtney complains.

"No soup for you!" Chef roars.

"Whatever, Soup Nazi," Rick says. He chuckles at his own joke while the other glare at him.

Chef hurls the ladle at Rick. The ladle misses him unfortunately, and hits Max in the face.

"OW!" he screams.

"Dude, you're just really unlucky," Rick says sympathetically.

Max trips on his own feet and falls on his face. "And clumsy," Duncan comments.

Ema kneels down to see if he's okay.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Ema: He really is clumsy….. /she shrugs/ Kinda cute though. Not that I'd have a chance.

_

Max: It's really nice of Ema to help me out so much! I know I'm kind of clumsy….

_

Duncan: Okay, if we ever have teams, I'd rather not have Max on my team. The dude can't walk in a straight line without injuring himself.

* * *

The contestants all sit on the ground and the new contestants begin contemplating their food.

"Is this edible?" Parker asks, his lips curling in distaste.

"Nope," Noah says with fake cheeriness.

"Chef's food is always gross and disgusting, and sometimes still alive," Duncan informed him. "But it is never edible. Unless you're Owen."

"S'not that bad," Izzy mumbles through a mouthful of soup. "Prison food is worse." Eliza and Meena nod in agreement and everyone looks at them weirdly.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Duncan: Seriously, those two are the _not _the people I would have pegged for going to prison.

_

Kit: /Strokes Yang/ Didn't see that coming.

_

Ezekiel: /Tilts his head at the camera questioningly/ Is prison food really that bad?

_

Heather: There are so many freaks on this show!

_

Parker: Such _freaks_.

* * *

"Now that we've all finished that wonderful meal," Chris says, smiling widely at the contestants.

"Wonderful," Noah repeats, amused. "That's the best joke you've made all season."

"Don't diss my jokes!" Chris protests.

Most of the contestants glance at their bowls of soup in disgust and dump them on the ground. "We can get started with the next challenge!" Chris announces. "If everyone would please get into groups of two and get into those canoes over there."

The camera pans over and everyone finally notices the large river. Now, if you have ever seen a picture of the Amazon River you have a small idea of what that river looks like. However, unlike the Amazon River, this river is full of trash and the water is gray and murky. Small canoes with one set of oars are floating near the edge, all tied to a stake in the ground.

"Wanna be partners?" Max asks the person next to him.

"Sure, dude," Rick responds. They quickly pick a canoe and sit down.

Izzy jumps on Rizo's back. "Howdy, partner!" she yells, tightening her grip on his neck.

"Be my partner?" Meena asks Kit. He nods and picks up Yang. The two step into a canoe.

Eliza slips her arm into Duncan's and he gives her a weird look. "How 'bout you be partners with me?" she purrs.

Duncan opens his mouth and pauses for a second, darting glances at the glaring Courtney and the smiling Eliza.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Duncan: Hey, they're both hot! Eliza's straightforward, but Courtney totally digs me and won't admit it. /He crosses his arms and stares at the camera for a second/ And she looks hot when she's mad.

* * *

"He's my partner!" Courtney snarls, grabbing his other arm.

Eliza tightens her grip on Duncan. "I already called him!"

"He's not an object!" Courtney tugs him towards her.

"But I asked him first!" Eliza whines, pulling him the opposite direction. An all out tug-of-war breaks out with both girls pulling on Duncan's arms. The delinquent starts to look uncomfortable.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Duncan: Never mind, they both look hot when they're mad. /He rubs his arm and winces/ And damn, they're both _strong_!

_

Chris: Sometimes, I don't even have to do anything to get them to fight. Originally, I was going to have one team of one, but something better occurred to me.

* * *

"I have a great idea!" Chris says, grinning at the human tug-of-war. "You can be a group of three!"

Both girls let go of Duncan and he falls to the ground. Eliza pouts and Courtney glares at him.

"But Chris-!" both girls start to say. They turn on each other quickly. "Shut up!" they yell.

"It's all your fault!" Courtney yells.

Eliza raises one eyebrow. "My fault? Who's the one who started pulling him?"

Courtney opens her mouth, but closes it, finding she has no retort.

--

Chelsea surveys her fellow contestants for a moment, until her gaze lands on somebody. She links arms with her and smiles. "Why don't we be partners?" she tells Lulu.

Lulu sizes her up for a second. "Sounds good to me!"

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Lulu: She's pretty enough that the camera will always be on her, no matter how stupid she is. And I'll be on camera with her. Well, I'd consider being friends with Lindsay too but if I'm friends with Chelsea, what's the point of being friends with the stupid pretty one?

_

Chelsea: Lulu seems like a good target for a friend alliance. She's pretty, but not too pretty. I mean, why would I want to be friends with someone prettier than I am? That'd just take attention away from me.

* * *

Ema looks around and decides to ask one of the only people she had talked to on the show. "Um, would you like to be my partner?" she asks quietly.

Noah looks at her for a second. He shrugs. "Sure."

She lets out a sigh of relief as they grab a canoe.

"Would you be my partner, Zack?" Lindsay asks Zander.

He blinks a few times and shrugs. "Sure."

--

"Parker, would you be my partner?" Beth asks hopefully. He looks at her disdainfully and searches around for another person.

"No," he replies, aggravated by her attention. Her face droops and he continues looking for another partner. The nearest person to him that he could deem at all cool was…

"Heather, would you be my partner?" he asks.

She looks at him for a second and raises her eyebrows. "No," she says quickly. She hastily looks around for the nearest person. "I'm going to be partners with Ezekiel," she tells him.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Ezekiel: Huh?

_

Heather: Okay, I had no choice. It was either Ezekiel or Parker, and the lesser of the two evils is Ezekiel. If I'm partners with Parker, it looks like I'm trying to be friends with him. I'm the most unpopular person on this show. And it doesn't look like he's making many friends with that attitude. At least if Ezekiel and I lose, he might say something sexist again and get voted off.

_

Parker: She is _so _not cool.

* * *

"Wanna be partners?" Parker asks Maria.

"Um, no," she replies. "I'm partners with Eva!" She suddenly links arms with Eva. "Right, Eva?"

"Huh?" Eva says incoherently.

"I guess that leaves us two!" Beth says excitedly. "Can't wait, partner!"

Parker hits his forehead in frustration.

Chris grins and starts to talk again. "Just like last time, your job is to get to the other side of the island. But you have to get there with your partner! The last two pairs to get there are going to be put up for elimination! So, Chef would you please release the canoes?"

Chef hurries over to the stake in the ground and chops the ropes off with a butchers knife. The canoes start to make their way down the slow flowing. Chris pulls a pistol out of his pocket and fires it into the air. "Let's get going!"

Meena gasps. "That's not a _real _pistol, is it?"

"Noooo," Chris says unconvincingly, looking around shiftily. A pigeon falls to the ground, dead.

She gasps again. "That bird was a vital part of the wildlife! And you killed it!"

"It's a pigeon," Chris says, giving her a strange look.

She leaps to her feet, making the canoe she's on sway dangerously. In one nimble leap, she reaches the shore. She runs over to Chris and punches him in the face. He falls to the ground, clutching his nose, and she jumps back onto her canoe.

"Nice one," Kit says, congratulating her. They high-five and Yang leaps into Meena's lap.

The canoes all float along the slowly moving river in a small clump.

Eva grabs the oars, fed up of drifting along, and starts to row frantically. She propels the canoe quickly through the water, leaving the others in the dust. This spurs the other contestants into action.

"Oh, you're so strong, Duncan!" Eliza says excitedly. "Do you work out?"

Duncan grins at her and rows faster. "Nope. I'm just naturally strong."

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Courtney: Puh-leeze! /Rolls her eyes and starts to talk in falsetto/ Oh, you're so strong, Duncan! /Resumes talking in normal voice/ God, she's so annoying.

_

Eliza: Courtney can't touch me when it comes to flirting.

* * *

"Wow, you're really strong!" Lindsay comments. She pats Zander's bicep. "Do you work out?"

"Yep," Zander replies, flexing for her.

Eliza notices the two of them and gives Lindsay a death glare. Her glare melts abruptly and she looks up at Duncan with doe eyes. "Duncie, would you let me row for a bit?"

Duncan gets out of the way quickly. "Sure, sure!"

Eliza takes his seat and grasps the oars unsurely. "How do I work these things?" she asks him.

"You grab it and move your arms like this," he says, moving her arms to show her. She looks up at him, smiling, and he's suddenly aware of how close her face is.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Eliza: I'm good.

_

Zander: She's all over him! /He coughs/ Not that I noticed or anything. And I know that she knows how to row a canoe perfectly well. You should have seen her that time we were sneaking out of the prison camp with the sergeant's boat and-. /He suddenly pauses/ Maybe I shouldn't be talking about that here……

_

Courtney: Darn her! She's not going to take Duncan! /She stares at the camera awkwardly for a moment/ Not that he's my boyfriend or anything. /She smacks her fist into her palm/ She's going down! Two can play at that game…

* * *

"Can you show me too, Duncan?" Courtney asks sweetly, gritting her teeth.

He blinks a few times. "Err, okay."

Courtney bumps Eliza out of the way. Eliza squeaks indignantly, but is prevented from doing anything inherently evil by Duncan's close proximity.

"You put your hands here," he explains, "And you move your arms like this."

Courtney's face assumes a look of total concentration as she propels the canoe down the river at an extreme speed. Duncan and Eliza hold onto the sides desperately as the canoe disappears around the left path at the spot where the river separates into two.

"Can _you _go that fast?" Lindsay asks Zander. He shrugs and puts more force into his rowing. They follow after Courtney, Eliza, and Duncan at almost the same speed.

--

Ema snaps a picture of Zander rowing away and Noah looks at her, slightly interested. "What's with the pictures?" he asks.

Ema picks up the oars and starts to row again. "Watching other people's happy moments makes me happy too."

"Don't you have your own 'happy moments?'" he asks, putting air quotes around 'happy moments.'

"Not really," she remarks quietly. "I don't have many friends."

"I can't see why," he says sarcastically. "You're just a ray of sunshine."

"It wouldn't matter if I _was _a ray of sunshine," she mutters. "Lulu would just ruin it anyway."

Noah rolls his eyes. "She's not an all powerful being. She doesn't control your life."

"That's what you think."

Another canoe knocks against theirs, startling Ema. She looks up and sees Lulu smiling sunnily at her. "Whatcha talkin' about?" she asks.

"None of your business," Noah replies shortly.

"Awww, don't be mean!" Lulu whines playfully.

Ema gives her a pleading look, sending her a mental message to leave her alone. Lulu smiles back pleasantly.

"I'd like to make one thing clear," Noah says. "I don't like you very much and I don't want to be friends with you. I'm on this show to win, not to make friends. So could you please, shove off?"

Lulu blinks a few times, unsure about how to reply.

"Gosh, you didn't have to be so rude!" Chelsea says for her. She rows their boat to the other side of the river.

"Thanks," Ema whispers. She steers the canoe to the right, going into one path of the river. Lulu and Chelsea follow, unbeknownst to her.

Noah rolls his eyes. "Stand up for yourself next time."

--

"So your brother signed you up for the show?" Rick says, steering the canoe to the right.

Max nods. "He wanted me to get a girlfriend."

"Seriously?" Rick says. "That's why?"

"Well, maybe getting a girl is easy for you, but I don't exactly have girls throwing themselves at me," Max says defensively.

"Hey, I've never had a girlfriend!" Rick protests. He pauses suddenly. "Wait, maybe I shouldn't have said that on national television."

"Seriously?" Max asks in disbelief. "Wouldn't have believed it. I mean, chicks would think your pretty good looking."

Rick shrugs. "I'm kinda picky. That's what I get for having sisters that force you to watch sappy romance movies with them….."

--

"So that's why we named her Big Bertha," Beth says, finishing her story. She smiles at Parker, who is lounging on the other side of the canoe. "Hey, do you want to go that way?" Beth asks, pointing at a small stream that broke off from the main river.

"Whatever you want," Parker says in a grouchy tone. "As long as I don't have to do any rowing."

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Beth: This is totally better than my alliance with Heather last season. Parker actually listens to what I say!

_

Parker: Why won't she _shut up_? She's not even a good rower. We are so far behind the others that I can't even see them. Especially since we went down this stream.

* * *

"So, Rizo, how'd you get away from those pesky Mounties?" Izzy asks playfully. She pauses and nods to a response that only she hears. "Ooooh! I should try that sometime!"

--

"Soooo," Maria says awkwardly, staring at the fitness buff. "What do you do for fun?"

Eva looks at her coolly for a second. "I lift weights."

"Oh," Maria says. "Makes sense."

"You implying something with that?" Eva says, her expression turning dangerous.

"Not at all," Maria says. She sighs.

--

"Why did we take the second right again?" Eliza asks, rolling her eyes.

Courtney glares at her. "Because I decided we would and I'm the one rowing!"

"Well, now we have to go through this weird cave thing!" Eliza says, gesturing angrily at the large opening in front of their boat.

Behind them, Lindsay whimpers. "I don't really like caves," she says to Zander. "They're all …. dark and stuff!"

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," he assures her.

As both canoes row farther and farther into the cave, there is less and less light, until you can't see anything. It's silent, except for the sound of the oars slicing through the water.

"It's dark in here," Eliza comments, her voice echoing through the cave.

"No sh*t, Sherlock," Courtney snaps.

"Reeow," Duncan says.

"Duncan, please don't make cat noises," Courtney says patiently.

"I can't see my hand in front of my face," Lindsay complains.

A loud smacking sound rings throughout the cave. "OW!" Courtney shrieks.

"Sorry," Eliza says unapologetically. "I was just testing to see if I could see my hand."

"You hit me in the face!" Courtney yells. "On purpose!"

"No, I didn't," Eliza says in a sing-song voice.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Eliza: Okay, I totally did. /She giggles/

_

Courtney: Something is seriously wrong with her!

_

Zander: Eliza's kind of shameless….. /He shrugs/ Not like I care. Besides, Lindsay's pretty cute. I wonder if she's still going out with that Tyler guy?

_

Lindsay: I _am _still going out with Tyler, but Zack is kinda cute! He was my second pick, after Russ. Russ is yummy looking! Having someone nice to look at is always a good thing. Wait, is Tyler going to see this? /She waves/ Hi, sweetie!

* * *

"Can we go any faster?" Heather grumbles. "Is it even possible to go _slower _than this?"

"I'm rowing as fast as I can, eh," Ezekiel tells her patiently.

"Really?" Heather asks, "I think I saw a snail pass us on the shore." She blows on her nails and studies them for a second.

"Doo' yoo' think yoo' could row fur a bit?" Ezekiel asks her, pausing for a second to shake out his arms.

"No, I just finished my nails. You wouldn't want me to mess them up now, would you?" Heather asks sweetly.

"Is that a rhetorical question, eh?" Ezekiel mutters under his breath.

"What was that?"

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Ezekiel: I'm trying to be nice to everyone, eh, but Heather's just getting on my nerves! How can soo'meone be that bossy?

_

Heather: He's just way too _nice._ And nice people, don't survive in this competition.

* * *

"So, do you have a boyfriend?" Maria asks, continuing the game of "Maria asks questions and Eva answers them with a grunt, nod, or combination of the two" that they had been playing for the past half hour.

"No, boys are nothing but trouble," Eva replies.

Maria's face lights up. _"YES! A full sentence!" she cheers inside her head._

"I'm sure you could find a good boyfriend on the show," she says, hoping that incessant chatter might elicit _another _sentence from Eva. Heck, maybe even two sentences! "There are plenty of good guys. Like…." She pauses, trying to think of somebody. She spies a canoe far in front of them and its occupants inspire her. "Ezekiel, for example!" She pauses and thinks about it for a second. "Yeah!" she says excitedly, warming up to the idea. "He seems nice, and Izzy said that he was trying to apologize for being sexist, right? Plus, you're pretty much the strongest woman here, and you proved that women can be stronger than men!" She pauses for a second, her eyes shining.

Eva stares at her, flabbergasted.

"It's perfect!" Maria says suddenly. "I'll even get to help match you guys up!" She opens her mouth and starts to sing loudly and terribly off-key. _"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match!"_

Eva flinches. "Please don't sing," she growls.

Maria frowns for an instant. "Can we speed up?" she asks. "Maybe we can talk to Ezekiel!"

Eva's frown deepens. "Why are they so far ahead of us?" she asks herself.

The canoe shudders and starts to move much faster. "Wow, good job Eva!" Maria says.

Eva stares at the water in confusion. "I didn't do anything….."

--

"Errr, well," Ezekiel says slowly, paling under Heather's angry glare.

"Out with it, homeschool!" she says irritably.

"We're suddenly going a loo't faster, eh," he says slowly.

"No duh," Heather interrupts him.

"And the water's churning and foaming, and there's suddenly a lot more rocks," Ezekiel observes. The canoe abruptly swerves to the right and Ezekiel grabs ahold of the oars to prevent them from coming off.

"Could you get to the point?"

"All signs point too' this being the rapids," Ezekiel says nervously. "And in my experience, rapids lead to waterfalls, eh." He gulps quickly. "Like that one in froo'nt of us."

Heather turns to look at the waterfall. She turns back to Ezekiel with a serene and calm expression. "DO SOMETHING YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!" she screeches.

Ezekiel looks thoughtful for a moment, and then shrugs. "I've got noo'thing, eh. You have any ideas?"

Heather clenches her fist and hits her forehead with her palm. "Try and row us closer to shore," she orders him.

"Aye aye, Captain!" Ezekiel says smartly, grabbing the oars and attempting to do so. However, his arms are already tired from rowing the entire way, and he barely moves them a few inches to the right.

Heather huffs and pushes him out of the way. "I'll do it, homeschool. Aren't you a farm boy? Shouldn't you be stronger?" she asks disdainfully.

Ezekiel looks at her strangely. "I doo' live on the prairie, but noo't on a farm, eh. My parents are teachers. I got sent to this shoo' because I didn't go oo'tside enough and I had a Vitamin D deficiency."

Heather rolls her eyes and attempts to move the canoe. She only manages to move them a little farther than Ezekiel did. The canoe swerves crazily from side to side as the water drags them closer and closer to the waterfall.

They hear screaming from behind them as Maria and Eva get closer to them. "Ay dios mio! Ay dios mio! Ay dios mio! What do we do?" Maria screams repeatedly.

"Shut up!" Eva roars at her.

"Okay," Heather says, coming up with an idea. "When we get closer to the shore, jump off the boat!"

Ezekiel simply nods in reply, getting ready to jump. The boat veers to the left and Ezekiel and Heather simultaneously leap towards the shore.

Ezekiel closes his eyes, feeling nothing but air beneath his feet. He lands, rather unceremoniously, on the riverbank with Heather on top of him.

Eva and Maria fly past the two, the waterfall closer than ever. Ezekiel gets up to help them and Heather grabs his hand.

"Don't help the enemy!" she hisses.

He pulls his hand out of hers and ignores the order, running to help them.

"Jump!" he yells to Maria and Eva.

Maria follows his instructions almost instantly, leaping out of the canoe and smashing into Ezekiel. Eva starts to jump just as the canoe smashes into a large rock. She is thrown slightly off-balance, and her jump sends her into the cold river. The current carries her down the river at a high speed, so fast that even she doesn't have time to react.

Ezekiel looks away just as she gets to the waterfall.

"Yes!" Maria cheers. She runs towards the waterfall.

Eva had grabbed onto a tree root that was protruding from the side of the bank and is clinging on for dear life. Ezekiel also hurries to help her and together, Maria and Ezekiel manage to pull her onto the shore.

--

"It's a dead end," Beth says sadly, staring at the wall in front of their canoe.

"You think?" Parker asks sarcastically.

"This stinks," Beth says, sighing.

"_You stink," Parker thinks, rolling his eyes._

--

"Lindsay," Lulu says.

"Pretty, but dumb as a wall," Chelsea says. "Never mind, a wall might be smarter. At least it doesn't talk." Lulu giggles. "Rick?" Chelsea asks.

Lulu shrugs. "I dunno yet. Eliza?"

Chelsea's eyes narrow. "Annoying. And crazy, to boot."

"Did you know her before the show?" Lulu asks.

"Sadly, yes," Chelsea replies. "Ema."

"I hate her," Lulu says vehemently. "It's like she was born just to annoy me. I've got to make sure she knows her place." She stares off into the distance moodily.

Chelsea smiles at her fondly. "I think we're going to be great friends. Alliance?"

Lulu nods. "Alliance."

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Chelsea: We both hate certain people, don't mind doing terrible things to get our way, and are good looking! We're a match made in heaven!

_

Lulu: We just formed the very first alliance on the show. We're going to be even better on this show than Heather was! /She smiles evilly/ And now I have someone to help me with my plans for Ema!

* * *

"Eliza, stop messing with my hair!" Courtney shrieks.

"I'm not messing with your hair," Eliza replies.

"Yeah, right. And that wasn't you just now, who poked me in the eye."

"Seriously, why would I mess with your hair?" Eliza asks.

"It's not like Duncan's doing it! He's busy rowing!"

Unbeknownst to Courtney, Duncan is actually not rowing at all. He's reclining in his seat. However, as they are still stuck in the cave and can't see anything, she's just assuming that's what he's doing.

"Yeah, I'm rowing," Duncan says.

"You did it again!" Courtney yells at Eliza. "Stop it!"

"Courtney, I swear that this time, it's not me," Eliza says wearily.

"AH-HA! So you admit to the other times!" Courtney yells, pointing an accusatory finger that nobody sees at Eliza.

"Paranoid," Eliza says under her breath.

"What was that?" Courtney asks angrily. She grabs at her hair when she feels it being ruffled again. Instead of grabbing Eliza's hand, as she was expecting, she grabs something else. Her shriek pierces the cave and she jumps into Duncan's lap. "There's some sort of animal on my head!" Courtney yells, pure panic in her voice. She pulls the offending creature off her head and hurls it away from her.

"Probably a bat," Eliza says, feeling a little sorry for the small creature that Courtney had manhandled.

"Princess, you only had to ask if you wanted to sit on my lap," Duncan says, a suggestive note in his voice.

"No way!" Courtney says, leaping off his lap.

Eliza slides into her place. "I wouldn't mind sitting there," she purrs.

--

"Xavier, are you taking a break?" Lindsay chirps.

"There's no point in rowing in here. It's too dark, and the current's carrying us," Zander explains. He leans back and hits his head on the cave wall. "Ouch!" he hisses.

"Are you okay?" Lindsay asks, concerned.

"Just hit my head," he mutters, rubbing his head.

"Wanna lie on my lap?" Lindsay asks.

Zander considers it for a second. "Sure!" he says. _"Why not?" he thinks._

He rests his head on her lap and she absentmindedly starts to stroke his hair.

"You have a really comfortable lap," Zander says. _"Wow, that sounded awkward."_

"Aww, thanks!" Lindsay replies.

Eliza's voice rings throughout the cave. "Your lap is comfortable too, Duncan. I feel like all hot guys have comfortable laps."

"You sayin' I'm hot?" Duncan says silkily.

"What if I am?" Eliza replies, giggling.

"You think hot girls have comfortable laps?" Lindsay asks, curiosity in her voice.

"Yeah," Zander replies, without thinking.

"Oooh! Thanks," Lindsay says cheerily.

"Duncan, you're a hottie!" Eliza says loudly.

"You are too, Lindsay!" Zander says, louder.

"Would you please shut up?" Courtney pleads angrily.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Eliza: I know it totally sounded like I was competing with him, but I wasn't. I was just flirting with Duncan. Not my fault that Zander kept getting all buddy buddy with that… that… /She clenches her fist and glares at the camera/ That slut! She just so annoying! She thinks she can get all the guys- /She continues to rant, endlessly/

_

Zander: When I think about it, it sounded like Eliza and I were competing to see who was a better flirter. You know, that wasn't the case at all. I was just innocently flirting with Lindsay, it's not my fault that Eliza kept getting close to that….. that… /He clenches his fist and glares at the camera, even more intensely than Eliza/ That wannabe-delinquent! I can't believe his cocky attitude, it's just so annoying! I mean, he- /He continues to rant, with no end in sight/

_

Courtney: Sooo….. Eliza and Zander…. /She grins/ I can use that. Duncan is mine! /She pauses/ Well, if I wanted him he'd be mine…. Oh, what the heck. I'm pretty sure everyone knows I like him anyway.

_

Duncan: Eliza sure is a good flirt! I mean, Courtney's fun to tease, but Eliza wouldn't fly off the handle at the slightest thing like Courtney does.

_

Zander: /Still ranting/ -and he thinks he's all that! I just hate that guy! Especially because-

_

Eliza: /Still ranting/ -just because she got the guy she wanted in about five minutes on the last season. Who knows what happened to him! She probably uses guys and-

_

Chris: Wow, those two just kept _going_! We had to kick them out in the end. Other people were waiting for the confessional.

* * *

"I'm totally making friends with Ezekiel this season," Izzy says excitedly. "And I think I can get other people to like him. Eva's not completely a lost cause-"

She pauses and looks intently at Rizo. "Am I sure about that?" She jumps up and strikes a dramatic pose. "As sure as I am that peanut butter is the greatest condiment in the world!" She crosses her arms and looks thoughtful for a moment. "Wait, never mind, that's ketchup."

--

"I feel like this season is a lot easier than the last one," Ema comments, finally coming up with something to talk about. She peeks at Noah cautiously, wondering if he might talk to her again. The two had sat in almost utter silence for nearly an hour while they slowly paddled through a misty part of the island.

"Yeah, trekking across an island with no food or water for an entire day and having your ear talked off by a fakely overenthusiastic cheerleader is actually better than last season," Noah says. "And it pains me to say that that was not sarcasm."

"Hey!" a voice yells through the mist. "I'm not fake or overenthusiastic!"

"You know, when you're trying to be sneaky, yelling at people is not always the best option," another voice says dryly.

"Well, it's not like we didn't know you were there," Noah comments to the invisible people.

Ema breathes in sharply. "Is that?"

"Okay, scratch that, only I knew you were there," Noah amends.

Another canoe cuts through the mist and slows next to Noah and Ema.

* * *

A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUN! A cliffhanger! Okay, it's not really a mystery who those two people are, but this seemed like a good place to end the chapter.

Props to my amazing beta, HouroftheRaven, who read the chapter, pointed out my mistakes, AND answered all of my questions of various things. Yay! You're the best beta in the world!

Go vote in my poll people!


	5. Day Two, Part Two: Across the Waters

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Total Drama Island in any way.. It all belongs to people richer than I am.

_When we last left our contestants, Ema and Noah were being stalked by two unknown persons....._

* * *

The not-so-stealthy duo, Chelsea and Lulu, had emerged from the fog both ticked off and slightly soaked. Trailing Noah and Ema through the thick blanket of fog had spread a thin layer of moisture over their entire bodies. Lulu fixated an intense glare on Ema, focusing all her annoyance with the situation into hating Ema. Ema paled under the hatred directed towards her and tried desperately to shift away from it, though there weren't many places to hide in the small canoe. She settled for cowering slightly behind Noah, a frightened look on her face.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Ema: I know my fear of Lulu is slightly pathetic and highly irrational, but I'm been oppressed by her for pretty much all of my life. I just don't have the nerve to stand up to her. /She sighs/ I tried to stand up to her a bit yesterday, and it didn't really go that well. And besides, when she's mad, bad things happen to me.

* * *

Noah stared at her, his expression unreadable¸ before turning his attention to Lulu and Chelsea.

"Exactly why are you following us?" he asked tiredly.

"B-because!" Lulu stuttered angrily. She crossed her arms across her chest and scowled at Noah. Ema fought the urge to giggle uncontrollably at her sister's immature reaction as she knew she would regret it later. Noah, however, had no such problem with Lulu and did not suppress his laughter.

"What are you, two?" Noah asked while smirking at her. This only served to annoy Lulu more, making her scowl deeper.

Chelsea sighed and decided to intervene before her friend managed to look even more immature on international TV. "You guys looked like you knew where you were going," she said, completely nonchalant.

Noah raised his eyebrows at that comment, unconvinced. "Well, we'll be going now!" Ema managed to squeak out, hoping to get as far away from her sister as quickly as possible. She gave them a nervous wave and forced her skinny arms to row the canoe.

Lulu promptly stood up in her boat and yelled after them. "Hey! Don't leave us behi-EEK!" Noah and Ema turned to see her off-balance, wildly flailing her arms in the air. "What was that?" Lulu asked once she finally had gotten her balance back.

Chelsea peered into the murky water in front of the boat. "Well, either that's a really large rock that's grown legs…. or some kind of animal."

The large grey shadow glided through the water quickly and slowed to a halt beside Ema and Noah's canoe. "What's it doing?" Ema asked fearfully.

"Keep rowing," Noah ordered, staring steadily at the shadow.

Chelsea and Lulu caught up to Ema and Noah, making sure to keep themselves far away from whatever the thing in the water was. "It's too hard to see through this stupid fog," Chelsea commented lazily. "And it's not doing anything for my hair." She held up a lock of her hair and inspected it critically for signs of frizzing.

"Yeah, this is a _great _moment to be concerned about your hair," Noah said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Chelsea shrugged. "Hey, that thing isn't anywhere near _my _boat."

"Remind me to never help you out if you're in trouble, okay?" Noah said in a falsely cheery tone.

* * *

After the loss of their canoes, Maria, Heather, Eva, and Ezekiel had started on the long walk along the riverbank. It was swelteringly hot and humid to boot, which wasn't doing anything for Heather's temper. "Why are you dorks following us?" Heather snapped, deciding to vent her anger on somebody.

Maria laughed off the insult and threw an arm around Heather's shoulders. "'Cuz you guys helped us out!"

Heather stared at Maria's arm as if it were giving her a contagious disease. Her lips curled into a sneer and she brushed the friendly arm off her shoulder. "We don't need _dweebs_ following us around."

Eva clenched a fist and glared at Heather. "You calling me a dweeb?" she asked, stomping closer to Heather.

Heather shook her head furiously with a panic-stricken look on her face. "N-no, of course not." She walked faster while mumbling something about 'roid-rage and someone needing a pair of tweezers. Ezekiel bit his lip, trying not to laugh. He wasn't particularly well-inclined towards the queen bee at that moment; after all, she had forced him to row constantly for what felt like several miles while constantly badgering him with insults.

Maria sent a surreptitious glance back at the prairie boy before nudging Eva with her elbow. "Hey, go talk to him!" she whispered, smiling gleefully at the bodybuilder.

"W-what?" Eva sputtered, completely taken aback by the suggestion.

"It's a perfect opportunity!" Maria said excitedly. "I'll distract Miss Mean over there. Go on, go on!"

"Bu-" Eva tried to say.

"No, no, don't worry about me!" Maria interrupted her, completely caught up in her own plan. "I'm sure I can handle her. Sticks and stones may break my bones but her words will never ever hurt me." She stopped walking suddenly and clasped her hands together dramatically. Eva stared at her in complete confusion, wondering what she was doing. Maria took a deep, cleansing breath and a frightening noise erupted from her mouth. "I'm w-" she sang (or rather, wailed) loudly.

"No, no. Don't sing," Eva interrupted quickly, a pained expression on her face. "I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" She put her hands on her hips and stomped towards Ezekiel. "Man, her voice could be a lethal weapon," she muttered.

* * *

"Is it still following us?" Ema asked worriedly.

"Sadly, yes," Noah said, staring at the occupants of the canoe next to them pointedly.

Chelsea rolled her eyes and continued rowing. "I'm pretty sure she was talking about whatever that thing in the water was." She pulled her oar out of the water suddenly and bit her lip. "Oops."

"Oops, what?" Lulu asked, turning to Chelsea with a concerned look on her face.

"I just hit something in the water," Chelsea explained.

"Something-" Lulu started to say. Her eyes widened and she immediately stopped talking when she realized what Chelsea was talking about. "Row faster."

Before they could do so, something smashed into Noah and Ema's canoe, making it rock dangerously.

"What was that?" Ema asked fearfully. Noah had no answer for her. Chelsea and Lulu stared at them with wide eyes, frozen in place. The two sat in silence, hoping whatever it was would go away. They were sadly disappointed when another blow from whatever was attacking them flipped their canoe over, sending them into straight the murky water. A large hippo surfaced and rammed into the side of the canoe.

"It's…. a hippo?" Lulu asked incredulously. "Since when do those attack people?"

Noah and Ema both surfaced at the same moment, gasping for air. Ema let out an ear piercing shriek at the sight of the large animal only a few feet away. Noah also had a look of terror on his face, though he managed to suppress the desire to scream his head off. Both teens swim/flounder/panic their way to the shore and dragged themselves out of the river as fast as humanly possible.

With a glance at the overturned canoe besides them, Lulu recognized the opportunity for sabotage and grasped it immediately. She snatched the oars floating in the water and pulled them into her own canoe. "Row, row!" she ordered Chelsea. Chelsea complied, and soon the two were lost in the fog.

"Well this sucks," Noah commented. Ema nodded in agreement and the two sat in silence for a moment, drenched and miserable.

* * *

"I think that's as far as we can go with the canoe," Meena said, stating the obvious. Kit nodded quickly in agreement, not looking away from her face for a moment. In front of them, the river flowed into a grove of thick mangrove trees. The roots twisted together, forming a thick web that blocked the boats path. Meena stood up and hopped out of the canoe, with Kit and Yang close behind her.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Kit: After talking to her a bit, I found that Meena is my ideal girl. She's smart, and funny, and gorgeous, and likes animals! So this show has actually does have _some _perks…..

-

Meena: Kit's really nice. I mean, he listens when I talk and agrees with a lot of my opinions and he even agreed to go protesting for animal rights with me sometime! The way he stares at me all the time is kind of weird though…..

* * *

"Can you help me with the rowing?" Beth panted. She stopped rowing and rubbed her arms, massaging the sore muscles. "I don't think I can do this anymore…."

Parker glanced at her and frowned. "You don't want us to lose, do you?"

"N-no," Beth stuttered.

"Then keep rowing," Parker ordered.

"Okay," Beth said reluctantly. She grabbed hold of the oars once again and continued rowing, albeit reluctantly.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Beth: Parker's starting to remind me of somebody. /She bites her lip and stares at the camera with intense concentration, trying to remember/ Nope, can't remember.

_

Parker: I absolutely cannot stand her. She is so weird. So weird. /He shudders violently/

* * *

"Hey lookie lookie!" Izzy said excitedly. She jumped up and down, pointing at the large plane parked on the runway. "The runway!" She sprinted towards the finish line, an actual line painted on the ground with the word Finish written on it. Rizo stuffed his hands in his hoodie's pockets and followed behind her leisurely. Izzy jumped across the finish line theatrically and started doing a little jig. "We wooon, we wooon, we wooon!" she sang while doing her victory dance. Though all that could be seen of Rizo's face was his mouth and chin, he was clearly happy about the win, as he was smiling at Izzy.

"Hey, congrats," Chris said, smiling his trademark smile at the two. "You two are the first to arrive!"

* * *

"Hey, so I want to be a comedian someday," Rick said proudly.

Max smiled at him encouragingly. "Really? That's cool."

"Lemme tell a joke for you," Rick said. He took a deep breath and put on an enormous, cheesy grin. "A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walked into a bar. The bartender said, 'Is this some kind of joke?'" Max stared at him silently, trying to see something funny about the joke. Rick lost the grin for a moment but regained it almost instantly. "Hey, it's not my best," he said while shrugging. "How about this one. I've got this friend who fell in love with two school bags. He's bisatchel!"

This one got an eyebrow raise from Max.

Rick sighed. "This one's one of my better ones. A dyslexic man walks into a bra…."

Max stared at him uncomprehendingly. "What?" he asked in confusion.

"Don't you get it?" Rick asked, grinning like an idiot.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Max: I didn't have the heart to tell him that he sucks. His jokes are _not funny_! And I had to listen to them all day!

-

Rick: /Grins happily./ Hey, Max liked my jokes much more than my family does! I usually get boos and shut ups from them. I think they just don't appreciate good jokes.

* * *

"Hey, I think I see the end of the tunnel!" Lindsay announced perkily.

"Thank you!" Courtney said in relief, looking up towards the heavens. "Now if the two lovebirds would stop competing, this day would suddenly get a whole lot better," she mumbled. Of course, both Eliza and Zander had very good hearing and were irritated by this comment.

"What do you mean, lovebirds?" Eliza shrieked.

"Yeah, there's no way I'd ever go out with_ her_," Zander concurred.

With that comment, Eliza shifted the target of her anger to him. "What do you mean by that? Huh?" she said in an accusing tone. "Am I not good enough for you, _Alexander_?"

Zander winced at the use of his full name, suddenly realizing that he'd made an enormous faux pas. Naturally, his manly pride wouldn't allow him to back down in this situation. He would, however, settle for trying to appease her while still looking manly. "I never said that," he said abrasively.

"Then what did you say, Alexander?" Eliza said, her tone dangerously sweet.

"I just said that I would never go out with you," he defended. "You're not my type."

"Oh, what is your type?" Eliza inquired, still asking questions that don't have a good answer. "Brainless blonde bimbos with huge boobs?" She looked pointedly at Lindsay, who was entranced by the pretty light at the exit to the cave. Xander coughed, trying to think of a way to rationalize with Eliza without her twisting his words.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Courtney: /A smug look is on her face/ Wow, that worked out way better than I thought it would.

-

Eliza: He's such a jerkface!

-

Xander: She's psycho! How can girls do that? They just twist your words around so you can't get a word in edgewise!

-

Duncan: I almost felt sorry for the guy. Eliza looked like she was going to kill him.

* * *

"Two Eskimos were sitting in-"

"Hey, is that a hippo?" Max asked, interrupting yet another of Rick's terrible jokes.

Rick turned serious suddenly, and glanced at the water in worry. "I once saw this show where this hippo went crazy and flipped over a boat!" His eyes lit up and he regained the cheesy grin. "Hey, I've got a joke about a hippo! What did the banana say to the hippo?"

Max groaned under his breath, turned his head away from Rick, and made a face. "I don't know."

"Nothing! Banana's can't talk!"

* * *

Ezkeiel stared at the bodybuilder walking besides him in bewilderment. She had been next to him for at least ten minutes and hadn't said a word. And the gestures Maria was making at the two were becoming increasingly less subtle by the second.

"_Talk to him!" _Maria mouthed, waving her arms in the air to get Eva's attention. Heather stared at her with a look that said clearly exactly how weird she thought Maria was.

"What's she doo'ing, eh?" Ezekiel asked, also staring at her. Eva facepalmed and sighed, not answering his question. A few minutes and a few more signs from Maria later, Eva decided actually talking to him might stop Maria from being any more embarrassing.

"What's up?" she asked grudgingly.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Eva: I'm not a big conversationalist. That was the best I could come up with on short notice! /She glared at the camera./ I don't normally talk to people if I don't want to .

-

Ezekiel: Eva's being rather…… nice, eh. Maybe she's forgiven me!

* * *

Ezekiel smiled as though Eva had said something witty and glanced up at the sky. "Nothing, really. Are you oo'kay?"

"Oh, uh," Eva said slowly. "I'm, uh, fine." She paused and tried to think of something else to say when she realized something. "Wait, never mind. I'm not fine, I'm stuck on a stupid crappy island again with people I don't like!"

"Pretty much stinks, doesn't it," Ezekiel agreed. He gave Eva a sympathetic look and smiled at her.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Eva: He's a lot nicer than I gave him credit for. Not that I like him or anything. /She averted her eyes from the camera and bit her lip./ Because I don't!

-

Heather: What the heck are they trying to do? Ezekiel is fraternizing with the other team and Maria keeps trying to _talk _to me. /She shudders./

* * *

"How are we going to get across?" Ema asked, slightly anxious about their place in the competition. "Should we swim?"

Noah stared, apprehensive, at the wide river that was trapping them. They were standing on the inside part of a fork in the river, where the water went from two streams of water to one solid river. The two of them had already walked in a complete circle, looking for a place to cross the river. Unfortunately, they discovered that they had swum onto a large island, surrounded on all sides by wide, fast-flowing river. "Great," he grumbled. "And I was finally dry."

"It's not that bad," Ema said optimistically. "Just think of it like we're going to the beach."

"I hate the beach," Noah complained. He tugged off his vest and shirt and slung them to the other side of the river, barely avoiding tossing them in the river.

"W-what are you doing?" Ema stuttered.

Noah turned to her, his face impassive. "What? I prefer to not walk around in wet clothes anymore. "

"Oh." She pushed her glasses up her nose self-consciously and blinked a few times.

* * *

Meena trudged through the trees without complaining, small beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Yang insisted on playing near her feet, weaving in and out of them while she was walking. The fox, just like his owner, was smitten with the girl. His owner was currently staring at Meena with a goofy half-grin on his face.

"Ah!" she cried, as she tripped over Yang and pitched forward. Kit's hand shot out before he even registered what was happening. His arm snaked around her waist and she abruptly stopped falling. "Thanks," she said gratefully. He grinned at her for an instant and Yang yipped at their feet. "Um, can you let go of me?" she asked.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he said nervously, immediately removing his hand, which sent Meena falling towards the ground once again. She hit the ground hard and curled up into a ball, holding her head. "Oops," was all he could say. After a few seconds of her rocking back and forth, holding her head, he managed to come up with something else to say. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm be fine," she said, gritting her teeth. "Just give me a second."

From ahead of them, Yang let out a short bark and Kit was momentarily distracted. His eyes flicked between Meena and the direction Yang's bark had come from. Fortunately, his dilemma was solved when Meena stood up, one hand still on her head. He dashed towards Yang without a word of explanation to Meena. She watched him run away with a slightly confused look on her face.

"Hey, Meena," Kit called. "Yang found the finish line! Yang, you're so smart!"

Meena followed after Kit. She met him hugging Yang and telling the fox how great he was.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Meena: He talks to his fox! It's kind of cute. /She giggles and then pauses suddenly/ Well, it's a little weird too….

* * *

"You're an idiot!"

"You're more of an idiot!"

"You're moreer of an idiot!"

"That's not even a word, moron!"

"You're a moron!"

"You're more of a moron!"

"You're morer of a moron!"

"I told you that's _not a word_!"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP ALREADY?" Courtney roared. Suddenly, there was absolute silence except for the sound of oars slapping into the water.

"He's still stupid," Eliza muttered with a vengeance.

"You're stupider," Zander countered.

"Please don't start with that again," Courtney pleaded, almost sounding desperate.

"Yeah, Emma, Zackie, fighting isn't nice," Lindsay informed them.

Eliza and Zander glared at each other, not heeding either of their teammates.

"Idiot."

"Moron."

"A**."

"Stupid."

"Jerkface."

"Idiot."

"You already said that!"

"There's no rule that I can't repeat things!" Zander snapped. Eliza stuck her tongue out at him and he made a face at her, fuming.

Courtney grumbled under her breath. At least they were traveling quickly, as Eliza and Zander had started a bizarre sort of rowing competition where the both of them rowed as fast as they could whilst insulting each other. Duncan smirked at her, making her annoyed meter go up one more notch. In his opinion, both Eliza and Courtney were hot when they were mad, and he was getting two for the price of one with this huge fight Eliza and Zander were having.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Duncan: I thought Eliza digged Zander for a sec there, but I just realized she actually hates the dude. I mean seriously, the two of them were fighting nonstop for like half an hour.

* * *

Courtney sat up suddenly when she saw something in the distance. It looked vaguely like…. a green blur riding a black panther? She heard the faint sound of insane laughter and connected the dots. "What is she doing?" she muttered to herself. She shook her head and decided against wondering. With Izzy, that's almost always the best choice. "Hey, guys?" she said, trying to interrupt Eliza and Zander's nonstop fight. Nobody heard her over the screeching and she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "People, LISTEN UP!" she shouted. There was silence for a moment and she plowed on. "I think that's the finish," she said, pointing a finger at Izzy and Rizo. "Besides, if we go any farther, we'll be in the ocean."

* * *

"A truck of turtles crashed into a-"

"I see the finish line!" Max announced, his relief showing plainly on his face.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Max: /He clasps his hands together and looks towards the heavens/ Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-

-

Rick: I have loads more jokes that I want to test on Max! Nobody else has ever listened to me for that long.

* * *

"Well, that was actually kind of easy," Lulu said as she and Chelsea joined those that had completed the journey.

"So, dudes and dudettes, who are we waiting for?" Chris said, slightly impatient after having waited around all day.

"Zeke and Queenie aren't here," Izzy chirped, fiddling with Rizo's hood. She was still sitting on his shoulders and seemed quite comfortable there.

"Zeke?" Chris asked.

"I thought that if I was going to be friends with him, I should come up with a good nickname!" Izzy reasoned. "Maybe Tiddlywinks would be better. I do love me some tiddlywinks."

"I'm going to choose to ignore that," Chris muttered. He lifted his binoculars to his face and started checking the rivers for arriving contestants.

"Wait, Crazy wants to be friends with Sexist?" Courtney asked.

"Sexist isn't sexist anymore," Izzy explained patiently. "He tried to apologize, but Anger-management throttled him."

"Oh-ho!" Chris chuckled, sounding like some kind of strange old man. He smiled creepily while peering through his binoculars. "Anger-management? The same girl that's chatting with him right now? While _smiling_?" The contestants from the first season collectively gasped. Eva was smiling?

"Lemme see!" Izzy cried. She jumped off Rizo's back and snatched the binoculars from Chris, choking him with the strap for the binoculars that was still around his neck. "Oooh," Izzy said, excited. "Zeke is making friends! Me likey!" Chris elbowed her away from him and glared at her, rubbing his sore neck.

"Wait, Anger-management is Evee, right?" Lindsay asked. Nobody responded, but her question was soon answered when Heather, Ezekiel, Eva, and Maria joined the group.

"We're not last are we? If we're last, I'm blaming you," Heather said, glaring at Maria.

"No, you're just the last to be safe," Chris informed them with a smile of glee. "Which means that tonight, Noah, Beth-" He paused and stared into the distance, trying to will the names of the other two contestants to appear in his mind. "Wait, who else is missing? I don't quite have you new campers straight."

Lulu rolled her eyes. "My dorky sister, and Parker."

"Yeah, well, they're up for elimination tonight," Chris continued. "So think long and hard about who you're going to vote off." He continued to stare dramatically at the camera and some of the new contestants fidgeted uncomfortably.

"You know, you forget you're on national TV until he does something like that," Meena muttered. A few of the contestants murmured their agreement.

"_Inter_national TV, darling," Chelsea corrected, smiling at the camera even more brilliantly than Chris. She casually twisted a strand of her red hair around her finger and tilted her head. The cameraman shooting Chris' close-up was immediately distracted from the job at hand and turned the camera towards her. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he took in the pin straight red hair, the DD chest, the pale skin, and olive green eyes.

"Hey!" Chris objected, disgruntled at the loss of screen time. _His _screen time, no less. "Camera on me please!" He frowned at the cameraman as the man didn't move a muscle. "Yeah, yeah, we get it, she's gorgeous," he muttered. "Why do you think I picked her to be on the show?"

At that moment, Rick's stomach decided to rumble loudly. He frowned angrily at Chris. "Hey, Chris, I'm hungry," he complained.

Chris blinked a few times, wondering why he was supposed to care. "And?"

"You know, you supply the food around here," Rick said. "So I wanted to ask if we could go get some dinner." Heads nodded in agreement all around. They hadn't gotten anything to eat since breakfast.

"Oh," Chris said, nodding at him. "No, you can't."

Several jaws dropped and angry stares were directed at the sadistic host. "Excuse me?" Courtney said. Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms across her chest. "You haven't fed us all day. That's considered _abuse_. And we're _minors_." Duncan loomed behind her and cracked his knuckles threateningly. "I'm sure if I sued, I'd win," she informed him smugly.

Chris paled at the thought of a potential lawsuit. Even worse, one with the actual possibility of Courtney winning! "Okay guys, go get your chow in the plane," he ordered, pointing at said plane.

The contestants all moved towards the plane as quickly as possible because all of them were ravenous. "Hey, I've got a great joke about being hungry!" Rick announced. Max's eye twitched and he set off running towards the jet. In his first five seconds of running, he tripped over his feet and dived towards the ground. However, his determination to get away from Rick's joke spurred him to keep running, even after practically falling on his face.

"What's his problem?" Meena asked.

"I guess he's really hungry," Kit reasoned.

"What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?" Rick asked.

"A Mercedes?" Meena asked, thinking she heard wrong.

Rick nodded and continued on with the joke. "I can't solve either!" He grinned at the group and waited for a laugh. Of course, he got none.

"That doesn't even make any sense," Courtney said, shaking her head.

"It totally does!" Rick argued. "You can-" He paused and thought for a second. "Wait, sorry, I said it wrong. Here, let me try again-"

"No, no, no!" Izzy yelled in protest. "When you tell a joke, it has to be more fun, like this." She grabbed Kit by the arm, stopping him from moving. "Knock, knock."

He shook his head. "I don't want to."

She shook his arm like a wet noodle and smiled at him with a frightening smile. "Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?" he said grudgingly.

"BOO!" she shrieked.

"AH!" he yelled in surprise, flinching away from her. She cackled maniacally and raced towards the plane.

Beth shook her head while smiling. "Same old Izzy."

"Yup," Heather agreed with a roll of her eyes. "Still certifiably insane."

"I don't like loud people," Kit muttered under his breath. Meena gave him a sympathetic smile.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Chris: Our first episode only gave our campers a small taste of what's to come. /He frowns deeply/ The producers apparently thought it would be a good idea to build up to the seriously bad stuff. Thought it would be more torturous this way. /He suddenly brightens/ But at least we get to use that great idea I thought of! /He rubs his hands together gleefully/ I can't wait for them to see the food Chef has for them!

-

Chef: /He's wearing a sexy flight attendant outfit/ Chris made me cook my food and vacuum pack it. /He crosses his arms across his chest/ Those maggots better appreciate it!

* * *

The contestants had wandered onto the plane and Chef had ordered them to go up to the second deck. None of them had had any idea that the plane had two levels, a feature that should have been obvious if you looked at it from the outside. The upstairs of the plane was equally as dilapidated as the rest of it, with seats that had stuffing poking out of them, small faded grey tables, and unsafe looking hammocks in the back. The contestants seated themselves around the few tables and hoped that food would arrive soon. Chef appeared, pushing a cart laden with plastic packages and wearing a tan flight attendants uniform with an extremely short miniskirt, tight jacket top, black stilettos, and fishnet tights. To top it all off, he wore a name tag that read, **Hi! My Name Is Chef Hatchet**. He scowled as he rolled the cart down the aisle and tossed the packages at the contestants.

"OW!" Max yelled in pain as a package smacked him in the head.

"What is this?" Chelsea cried. She stared at the plastic package in front of her. Something green and vaguely pink had been vacuum packed into a clear plastic package. The words **Courtesy of Total Drama Air** were stamped on the package, only serving to annoy the unfortunate contestants more.

Eliza peeled the plastic off the top and poked it with her spork. "Ewwww," she said when the spork bounced off. "I never thought I'd say this about anything," she mused. "But it's actually worse than real airline food!"

* * *

Ema slid to a stop next to Chris, panting from running. "A-are we first?" she asked hopefully, seeing that there was nobody there.

Chris scoffed and shook his head. "No way, you're almost last! You two-" He paused and looked all around Ema, searching for her partner. "Where's Noah?" he asked.

"Oh, he's not a big fan of running," Ema explained. "He's over there." She pointed into a distance, where a small black dot could be seen slowly making its way towards them.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Noah: I don't like running. Actually, correction, I don't like doing any sort of athletic activity. Especially something pointless like that. Seriously, there was no way we were first. The sun had almost set for gods sakes!

-

Ema: Noah comes off as a bit lazy and cynical and mean sometimes, but he's been the nicest to me out of everyone!

-

Noah: Ema reminds me of my sister, actually. They're both sort of pathetic and are afraid of their twin sister.

* * *

"Wow, Noah. That took you long enough," Chris said, rolling his eyes as the teen leisurely joined them.

"Sorry that I didn't want to waste my energy," Noah retorted. "I'm annoyed and tired and you haven't fed us all day." He glared at Chris angrily and Chris fidgeted underneath the staredown.

"Whatever," Chris said. He jerked a thumb at the plane. "Get some food."

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Noah: Did Chris actually call this food? /He waves a packet in the air/ It's more like a pathetic attempt at dog food.

-

Ema: I shouldn't complain…. But what is this? /She lifts up a package and accidentally tips its contents on the floor. She stares at the ground in horror/ Did that just _bounce_?

-

Eliza: Ewwwww. Just, ewwwww.

-

Courtney: /She wrinkles her nose up/ I can't believe they're still feeding us this slop.

* * *

"Finally!" Chris complained. Parker frowned at him intensely and Beth rubbed her sore arms. "I thought you two would never get here!" The host rolled his eyes and started towards the plane. "Oh, by the way," he called over his shoulder. "You're up for elimination!"

Beth took in a breath sharply and Parker turned his frown on her. "Why didn't you row faster?" he asked accusingly. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes and followed after the host.

"Why was that my fault?" Beth asked to nobody in particular.

* * *

"So, are you interested in anyone here, Zeke?" Maria asked, staring at Eva not-so-subtly. Eva immediately choked on the water she had managed to wrangle from Chef Hatchet.

"Are yoo' oo'kay?" Ezekiel asked Eva in concern. He made to touch her on the arm and she flinched away. She gave him a thumbs up while coughing into the other hand.

"Answer the question, Zeke," Maria insisted.

"Yeah, yeah!" Izzy agreed loudly. She leaned across the table towards Ezekiel and smiled widely. "Izzy wants to know! Does Zeke have a girl he wants to squeeze?"

"Squeeze, eh?"

"Yeah!" Izzy said perkily. "Like this!" She latched onto Maria and started doing something that looked more like death by hugging.

"Izzy," Maria choked out. "Can't breathe!"

Izzy released her suddenly and chuckled sheepishly. "Izzy's sorry!"

"It's okay!" Maria reassured her, recovering remarkably quickly.

"I doon't think I want to doo' that to anyone," Ezekiel said unsurely. Eva facepalmed and rolled her eyes.

Meena slid into the seat in the group of seats across from the four. "Help me!" she whispered to Maria. "He keeps following me and I don't know _why_!" She inclined her head slightly at Kit, who was petting Yang in a seat in the next aisle. He glanced up and smiled at her goofily. Half of Meena's mouth quirked up into a smile that made her look slightly deranged. "Pretend to talk to me or something!" she pleaded.

Maria glanced at Kit and giggled. She gave the others a quick wave goodbye and slid into the seat across from Meena. "Hon, he likes you!"

Meena opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again. She tilted her head in confusion at Meena. "Wait, what?"

"You'd have to be blind to not see that," Maria said in amusement.

"That might explain why he keeps looking at me like that," Meena muttered.

* * *

Ema walked up and down the aisle, pretending she knew where she was going. She didn't know who she was going to sit with because Noah was complaining about something or other in the Confessional.

"Hey, Ella!" a cheery voice called out from behind her. "Where are you going? Are you looking for treasure?"

Ema turned around to see Lindsay standing behind her, smiling happily. "N-no, I'm not looking for treasure," she answered.

"Oh," Lindsay said, tapping her chin absentmindedly. "What are you looking for then?"

"Nothing," Ema said shamed-facedly.

"Wanna sit with me then?" the blonde inquired. "I don't want you to have to sit with Heather." She frowned, but the expression disappeared in a heartbeat.

Ema's eyes widened. People like Lindsay usually ignored her or sneered at her. The glasses, the long skirt, and the bangs she hid behind usually turned them off. And if they didn't ignore her, Lulu would certainly make sure that the attention wasn't good attention. She sent a furtive glance at her sister, who was chattering with Chelsea. The coast was clear, the demon sister wasn't watching. She nodded gratefully and sat down with Lindsay. She pushed her glasses up her nose nervously and Lindsay stared at them in interest.

"Can I try them on?" she asked. Ema thought about saying no, but Lindsay was already reaching for them. Lindsay carefully pushed them onto her face and blinked a few times.

"Do these fix your eyes?" Lindsay asked.

"No," Ema said quietly.

Lindsay stared intently at Ema's face and smiled brilliantly. "Oh my god, you're like, so pretty without your glasses!" Ema stared down at the table in embarrassment, her cheeks lightly pink. Her bangs flopped down over her eyes and she didn't bother to brush them out of the way. "We totally just need to get rid of these glasses and cut your bangs and like, get you better clothes," Lindsay continued. "You should totally borrow some of my clothes!"

Ema shrank farther and farther into her seat as Lindsay chattered on and on about giving her a makeover.

* * *

"Hey."

Ezekiel paused and turned around. "Oh, hello."

"I want you to vote for this person."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

* * *

"Hello."

Lulu and Chelsea looked up at the person standing next to their table apprehensively.

"I'd like you to vote for this person."

Chelsea nodded seriously and Lulu smiled. "Sure," Lulu agreed.

* * *

"Hey."

Eliza and Maria stared at the person with annoyance while Zander didn't look up. "What do you want?" Maria asked abrasively.

"I want you to vote for-"

Eliza laughed shortly, cutting the person off. "No way I'm voting with you."

"Same here," Maria agreed.

* * *

"Welcome to the first real elimination ceremony of the season," Chris said theatrically. He was standing at the front of the first floor of the plane holding the intercom microphone. Chef lurked behind him menacingly, now wearing a revealing pilot's uniform. "Would the four contestants up for elimination please stand up." Noah, Parker, Beth, and Ema all stood up reluctantly and every eye in the room turned to them. Chris paused dramatically to raise the tension in the room, which was already thick enough to cut with a knife.

"Get on with it, Chris," Noah muttered.

"We have four contestants up for elimination," Chris said slowly. "And one of you is going home. If I do not give you a certified Total Drama Airlines pin, you will immediately get off the plane and go home." He pulled a small gold pin with the words TDA on it. "The first to be safe today is……"

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Parker."

Parker smirked and grabbed the pin that was tossed to him. He frowned when he felt it. "Wait a second! This is made of plastic!" he complained.

Chef chuckled. "You thought Chris would actually waste money on something like that? He's a cheapskate at heart."

Chris lost the ever-present grin for a moment to glare at Chef. He resumed his sparkling smile after muttering something about a pay cut. Chef's scowl deepened and he stalked into the cockpit.

"The next to be safe is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Ema." She breathed a huge sigh of relief as she caught her pin. "And our last pin of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Noah." The bookworm caught the pin with a slight smile. "Sorry, Beth. Guess you're going home today."

Beth shrugged and sighed. "Oh well. It's been fun people. I'm glad I got to meet everyone!"

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Eliza: I can't believe people actually voted for her! I would never want to help vote off Beth.

-

Maria: I might have done it if anyone else had asked me. But it's not like me not voting for her made a difference. Sorry, Beth!

-

Ezekiel: I'm a little soo'ry I voted off Beth, eh, but I wasn't really good friends with her so there was no reason not to.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm glad this chapter was finally posted.... I did change from present to past, but I think it came out better for it so I'm not too torn up about that. Who's the one that voted off Beth? DunDunDuuuuuun? (Okay, maybe it's obvious.) There are two people who it could be.... Any thoughts people?

Review! It'll make me happy!


	6. Day Three, Part One: Scaredy Cats

Disclaimer: The author does not own any part of the Total Drama Island franchise. She simply enjoys writing about it.

* * *

"Are you ready to ruuuuuuummmmbbbleeee?" Izzy whisper screamed. From the unenthusiastic stares she was receiving from the other RCMP Most Wanted, they weren't particularly excited about rumbling that late at night. Izzy nodded knowingly at them, as if they were actually giving her the pumped up reaction she was imagining. "Today's match is Chelsea versus Eliza! Woooooo!" She pumped her arms in the air like she was at a football game rather than on plane trying (and failing) to be quiet.

"SHHHHHH!" everyone hushed her quickly. They all glanced around the quiet plane to see if there was any sign that the sleeping contestants had heard Izzy. The plane had not landed on the next island yet, so all the contestants had gradually holed up in the hammocks and fallen asleep. Instead of sleeping with the others like most of them wanted to, the RCMP members had congregated downstairs to hold their next competition.

"See, nobody woke up you silly kumquats," Izzy said breezily, waving off everyone's worry. "You guys are so jumpy! Jeez."

"Wait a second!" Eliza said, realizing something. "Does that mean I get to beat her to a pulp?" The concept of beating Chelsea to a pulp was so exciting to Eliza that she grinned like a Cheshire Cat while Chelsea simply looked vaguely interested. Izzy glanced from girl to girl, seemingly pleased with something.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Izzy replied. "Since last time was a test of brawn, this time it's for brains!"

Eliza pouted, her hopes of bloody retribution dashed, and slouched in her chair. "So what are we doing?" she asked, disinterested in anything that didn't involve injuring Chelsea.

"We're having a quiz bowl!" Izzy shouted happily.

"SHHHHHH!"

"We're having a quiz bowl!" Izzy repeated, only a few decibels softer.

"That sounds…" Meena paused, trying to think of an adjective to properly describe the activity.

"Boring," Eliza supplied.

"It'll be fun, trust me!" Izzy said enthusiastically. "Now, the stakes are the position of second aaaaand the winner gets to make the loser do whatever she wants!"

Chelsea and Eliza instantly perked up. "So I can make her do whatever I want?" Eliza asked, several possibly illegal things running through her mind.

"I can get back at her for how annoying she's been?" Chelsea questioned, almost equally as happy as Eliza.

"You can do whatever your twisted little mind can dream of," Izzy answered, feeding off the drama like a certain cruel host with overly gelled hair.

"Sweet," Eliza said, surmising both her and Chelsea's thoughts at that moment.

"Are you ready to rock!" Izzy asked, pumping her arm in the air. She bounced up and down in her seat with barely contained enthusiasm.

"You're going down," Eliza informed Chelsea. Chelsea smirked and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"There are three rounds. Two questions a round. Round One!" Izzy explained, talking at a mile a minute. She jumped into the aisle between Eliza and Chelsea and started to pace up and down. "The first question goes to Eliza." She whirled around and pointed at Eliza. "What is pi to the thousandth decimal point?"

Eliza bit her lip uncertainly and stared at her brightly painted fingernails as if they held the answer to the question. "Um… Three… point one… er… four seven…."

Izzy made a loud noise imitating a buzzer and crossed her arms across her chest in an X. Everyone shushed her angrily, annoyed that repeated warnings had no effect on Izzy. As per usual. "Too bad, too bad!" Izzy said cheerfully, brushing off their shushing in record time. "Better luck next time! Chelsea, what's the answer?"

"Three point one four one," Chelsea rattled off confidently. She turned to Eliza and gave her a catlike stare that was smug enough to make anyone sick. Eliza returned it with a glare that could have been used as a weapon of mass destruction.

The rest of the contestants applauded politely. "New question for Chelsea!" Izzy announced.

Chelsea turned the smug smile towards Izzy. "If the questions are all that easy, you can just give me the win already."

Izzy tapped her chin and smiled mysteriously at the confident girl. "We'll see about that." She crossed her arms across her chest and proceeded. "How many colors do Pretty Pompom Ponies come in?"

Eliza's eyes lit up in childlike excitement while Chelsea frowned at Izzy with confusion clearly written across her face."What the heck are those?"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Eliza cheered excitedly. She waved her arm in the air crazily. "I know, I know!"

Izzy stared at Chelsea expectantly. "Well? Do you know the answer?"

"Seven," Chelsea guessed.

"Wrongo!" Eliza cheered. "Six! Passion Pink, Amazing Avocado, Bursting Banana, Inky Black, Cream of Heaven, and Rainbow Pompom Pony Power Ultimate!" she said, all in one breath.

"I don't even know what those are," Chelsea muttered.

"Yeah, I don't either," Meena agreed.

"It's her favorite stuffed animal series," Zander explained. He sighed and glanced at Eliza, who was smiling dreamily. "She's obsessed with them."

"They're so cuuuuuute!" Eliza squealed.

"It's like a complete flip from her normal personality," Chelsea observed. "Normally she's violent, petty, and-"

"Shut up!" Eliza snarled, irritated by Chelsea talking about her like she wasn't there.

"See?" Chelsea said. "Completely different."

"Round Two!" Izzy announced abruptly. "First question goes to Eliza. What's fourteen plus sixteen?" Eliza stared intensely at her fingers and started to count slowly.

"Come on!" Chelsea said disbelievingly. "Simple addition!"

"I use my calculator for everything!" Eliza defended.

"You're _so_ dumb."

"Shoot! You made me lose count!" She started again from the beginning, counting slowly on her fingers . "Thirty?" she said tentatively, after about a minute of sitting in near-silence.

"Finally!" Chelsea complained.

"Right!" Izzy said, nodding at Eliza. "Good thing there's no time limit." She gave Eliza a thumbs up and turned back to Chelsea. "Now, what are the names of one of the two main characters in Piyo the Wonder Chick?"

"Isn't that the dumb show about the baby chicken and the magic cat?"

"Don't make fun of it!" Eliza said angrily, defending what, in her opinion, was one of the best shows on television. "Piyo the Wonder Chick is adorable!"

Chelsea blinked a few times and shrugged. "I dunno, Piyo the Wonder Chick?"

"You're right!" Izzy congratulated her.

"The name of the main character is in the title, it's not exactly rocket science," Eliza muttered. "She couldn't even name Neko the Magic Cat."

"Final Round! Next, next, next, Eliza!" Izzy announced. "Name the first five prime numbers in five seconds!"

"Huh?" Eliza said incoherently.

"Four… three…" Izzy chanted.

"Um, two?" Eliza started.

"Two…"

"Three, five," Eliza continued.

"One… ZERO!" Izzy yelled.

"SHHHHH!"

"The question goes to Chelsea," Izzy said.

"Two, three, five, seven, and eleven," Chelsea said in a bored tone. "Why is she getting all the questions I'd be good at?"

"She's obviously doing it on purpose," Meena pointed out pleasantly. "Evidently, Eliza knows as much about math as you do about Piyo the Wonder Chick." She smiled with approval towards Izzy.

Izzy cackled maniacally. "Exactamundo, Meena! Anyway, the score is 2-2. So if Chelsea gets this question right, the win goes to her. If she gets it wrong….. we'll have a sudden death round!" Izzy smiled widely at the thought of anything with the words sudden death in it. "So Chelsea, name three colors the Pretty Pompom Ponies come in."

Eliza scowled furiously. "Hey, I just said those a few seconds ago!" she pointed out.

"But that wasn't the question then," Izzy explained. "Anyway, Chelsea, what's know the answer?"

"Amazing Avocado," Chelsea said haltingly, trying to summon the memory of what Eliza had said. "Inky Black and….." She rolled her eyes. "I feel so ridiculous saying this. Rainbow Pompom Pony Power Ultimate."

Izzy laughed crazily. "I wish I had that recorded," she choked out through her laughter.

"I'm glad it's not," Chelsea muttered.

Izzy suddenly sobered up. "Well, that means Chelsea held onto her spot in second. So next time, it's Eliza versus the fourth!" She paused for a moment and smiled happily. "By the way, has anyone seen the fourth?"

Everyone shook their heads no, nobody had seen hair nor hide of her.

"What happens if she doesn't show up?" Meena questioned.

"She loses her spot," Izzy explained. "But don't worry! It's like that one time me and her were canoeing in the Amazon and she disappeared for a month. I kind of thought that an alligator had eaten her but it turned out that she'd been living with these friendly bears for a while and then had moved to a tribe of natives. I found her one day when I was doing my morning vine exercises and saw that she was being burned at the stake. But then they saw me and thought I was the red falcon goddess so-"

Kzzzzzt. Kzzzt. "Contestants, we have landed on the island for the next challenge and we are ready to leave the next plane. If you would please exit the aircraft in a semi-orderly fashion and pick up your breakfast packet on the way out it would be much appreciated," Chris said smoothly, imitating what a normal flight attendant might sound like.

Not a peep came from the sleeping contestants and there was a pause in which the host was expecting some sort of activity. Chef stuck his head out of the cockpit and frowned even more intensely than normal. "WAKE UP MAGGOTS!" he hollered, startling most of the contestants out of their much-needed rest.

"Aaahh!" Max shouted as he flipped out of his hammock. He landed on the ground with a loud thump that sounded like it hurt quite a bit. "Owww," he moaned from where he lay on the ground.

"GET YOUR BUTTS OUT OF BED AND OFF THIS PLANE!"

"I need my beauty sleep," Chelsea grumbled. She sat up slowly and was hit in the face with a flying packet of food. She peeled it off her face and met a glaring Chef Hatchet's eye.

"Stupid Chef," Duncan muttered.

"Toughen up," Zander shot at him. He glared at the delinquent angrily. Duncan simply looked confused whilst Courtney giggled uncharacteristically beside him.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Zander: I just don't like him. He gives a bad name to men everywhere.

Courtney: It's pretty obvious that he doesn't like Duncan because he thinks they're competing for Eliza. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to figure that out.

Duncan: What's up with him?

* * *

After freshening up a bit, the contestants slowly filed out of the plane. Chef thrust breakfast packets at them, which most of them disposed of with disgusted looks on their faces. Everyone stopped to stare at the view in front of them, some with abject horror and others with cool indifference.

"I don't like the looks of this, eh," Ezekiel muttered.

"Yeah!" Izzy cheered. "Big scary mansion time! This is gonna be awesome!"

"I've never seen a more cliché looking building," Noah commented.

The building in question was indeed a big scary looking mansion. It appeared to have originally been painted black, but the color had faded to a dull grey and the paint was peeling in places. The giant wooden door had a pair of grimacing gargoyles for knockers. The smashed windows helped give the impression that the house had a face and was leering at you.

"It's so creepy looking," Eliza commented, a slightly unhappy look on her face.

"What tipped you off, the broken in windows, the shadows moving behind those windows, or the gargoyles on the knockers?" Noah asked sarcastically.

"Haha, you said knockers," Rick giggled. This comment earned him a few glares from the females of the group.

"Nice to see such a shining example of maturity," Noah muttered. He rolled his eyes and Ema giggled quietly.

Lindsay smiled cheerfully at the two. "I don't think those gargoyles are such great knockers. I would know, people tell me I have really good ones all the time."

Noah slapped a hand to his forehead while everyone within hearing distance snickered at the blonde.

"Even Tyler complimented me on them the other day!" she continued. "And he hadn't even been to my mansion yet!"

"Can we move on from this overwhelming display of stupidity?" Noah asked, a little red in the face.

"Yes we can!" Chris announced, somehow sounding a bit like a certain black president. The contestants turned to face him, and he flashed his trademark grin at them. "It's the time you've all been waiting for! The thing that puts the drama in Total Drama! You know what it is!" He smiled winningly at the camera for a moment, and the contestants quickly grew weary of not actually knowing what the heck he was talking about.

"Could you just spit it out already?" Heather said in an exasperated tone of voice.

"It's time for teams!" Chris said excitedly. He looked so thrilled that the contestants started to wonder if he actually had a life beyond this show. Alas, that question would be saved for another day, as the host decided to move the show along.

"You'll be divided into two teams, the Crazy Hikers and the Running Explorers," Chris explained. "So I'll read your names off this list, Crazy Hikers go to my right and Running Explorers to my left." He looked at the clipboard he was holding and started to read off it. "Kit and Meena, you're Crazy Hikers."

Kit flashed a brilliant smile at Meena, which she returned less brilliantly after a slight hesitation. She flashed a look of desperation at Maria, who simply chuckled. The two headed to Chris' right, with Yang trotting at Meena's heels.

"Ema, Lulu," Chris continued.

Lulu flashed a large, fake smile at Ema, who flinched violently in fear. When they stood with Kit and Meena, Ema made a point to stand the farthest from Lulu possible.

"Max, Rick, Noah,"

"Lovely," Noah muttered, staring at Rick, who he had officially deemed annoying and immature. Ema breathed a sigh of relief, glad that someone she could talk to was on her team. Max stared at Rick with a look of horror, and managed to trip on his own feet because of it.

"This'll be fun, dude," Rick said happily after Max recovered, oblivious to Max's obvious unhappiness.

"Lindsay, Izzy, and Parker."

Lindsay clapped her hands excitedly and trotted over to the Crazy Hikers with Izzy and Parker behind her. "Yay!" she cheered. She smiled brightly at Ema. "This'll be fun!" Ema simply nodded, wide-eyed. She was too nervous around the pretty, more popular girl to actually speak. She was also completely confused with why exactly Lindsay had taken such an interest in her.

"The rest of you are on the Running Explorers," Chris announced. "For the sake of our viewers, I'm going to list you too. Chelsea, Eliza,"

Eliza glared at Chelsea angrily while Chelsea simply smiled at her. "Remember, you owe me a favor," Chelsea whispered.

"Shut up," Eliza muttered, trying to put the dreaded favor out of her mind.

"Duncan, Courtney,"

"Yes!" Eliza cheered, doing a complete 360 from her emotion a few seconds ago. Courtney fought the urge to groan loudly.

"Zander, Ezekiel, Heather,"

Ezekiel sighed. Being on the same team as Heather wasn't exactly the best possible scenario, in his opinion. Zander glared at Duncan while he walked towards their team, which served to confuse Duncan even more.

"Eva, Maria, and Rizo," Chris finished. While the final three contestants walked to their team, he grinned his extremely white smile at the camera. "You guys should appreciate these teams. I considered everything from the first two episodes to make the best combinations of people."

"Basically, the most drama inducing combinations," Noah stated flatly.

"Exactly!" Chris agreed.

"This is just going to be _so _much fun," Noah said sarcastically.

"I know!" Lindsay agreed excitedly while bouncing up and down clapping her hands.

"So your challenge for today is-" Chris started to say.

"To get to the other side of the island. Like always," Noah interrupted him, wanting to just get on with the day.

"But today is a little different!" Chris corrected Noah. "You have to go through the creepy mansion!"

"Nice," Duncan said. The concept of a creepy mansion was just really awesome in his opinion. As a kid, he'd always wanted to see a real one.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Figures that you would like something like this."

"What's not to like?" Duncan questioned. He pointed a finger at the mansion and smirked at Courtney. "The place looks like it came out of a Scooby-Doo episode!"

"Oh my gosh, that show always has icky scary stuff in it!" Lindsay said worriedly. "Nothing in there will mess up my hair, right?"

"Fear not for your life, or your sanity," Noah said, rolling his eyes at the blonde. "But for your hair."

"I'm with Lindsay on this one," Chelsea said. "I can't let anything mess up _my _hair." She twirled a lock of said hair in her hand and flashed a smile at the camera. Another cameraman fell prey to her charms, and the camera swiveled in her direction, much to Chris' dismay.

"I have to get female camerapeople," he muttered. "Let's move on and start the challenge people! Just remember to beware of the ghosts in the mansion." He stared at the contestants with a creepy grin on his face, daring them to ask him about the ghosts. Most of them stared back at him, unwilling to take the bait Chris was dangling in front of them so obviously.

"G-ghosts?" Lindsay stuttered, never quick on the uptake.

"A long, long time ago," Chris started in a spooky tone. "An old man lived in this house. He was brutally murdered one night by his children who wanted his inheritance. Supposedly, his ghost still walks the house, looking for his children!" There was a large flash and a rumble of thunder from behind the contestants.

"Seriously Chris?" Courtney demanded. "There isn't even a cloud in the sky. Stop trying to scare us."

Chef stormed from behind the plane and threw the sheet of aluminum he had used to make the thunder sound effect at Chris' feet. "Don't make me do something like this if they aren't even going to fall for it!" he barked. "Next time, use your fancy schmancy weather machine." He stomped back up the stairs into the plane.

Chris chuckled awkwardly and decided it was time to move on with the show. "Okay, everyone! When I say go, you go!"

"That's a new concept," Noah muttered.

"Ready …. Set….. GO!"

Both teams ran off at top speed, competing to see who could get to the porch first. Courtney slid to a stop at the door, the first to arrive. She tried the door, but had no luck as it was firmly locked.

"Dang it," she muttered.

"Try the knockers," Duncan suggested. Rick stifled his laughter better this time, but still received some angry looks.

"The doorbell might work better," Meena pointed out helpfully.

"Who knows if there are even people there, morons?" Heather said, amazed at the stupidity the others were showing.

Courtney decided that they might as well press the doorbell, after all, what was the harm in that? She pressed the button and a recorded voice played from some unknown place.

"GET OFF MY PROPERTY! OR ELSE!" a man's voice yelled.

"Or else what?" Lindsay asked.

"Or else nothing," Heather said impatiently. "Nothing's going to happen, idiot."

"Maybe we could break the door down!" Duncan said excitedly.

"That's a stupid idea," Zander spat at the delinquent.

"I agree," Heather said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm with Duncan," Eliza said quickly. She and Zander glared at each other and those near them could practically see sparks igniting in the air between the two.

Courtney rolled her eyes and hit the doorbell a few more times. Before anyone could blink, a large trapdoor on the porch opened, sending everyone standing on the porch falling through it to who knows where.

"It really is like Scooby-Doo!" Lindsay squealed. She leaned over the hole that had opened up and watched them disappear into the darkness, all of them screaming their heads off.

* * *

**The Turbulent Confessional**

Chris: Didn't I mention that the mansion used to belong to a crazy old man that booby-trapped it? /He chuckles/

* * *

The remainder of the Running Explorers looked around and realized that almost their entire team was gone. Only Ezekiel, Eva, Maria, and Rizo remained. On the Crazy Hikers, however, only Izzy, Lulu, and Max had disappeared.

"Oh, noo," Ezekiel murmured.

* * *

"Owwww," Max moaned.

"Of all the moronic things for Chris to do," Heather grumbled. "He sends us to a supposedly haunted mansion with weird traps."

"Where the hell are we?" Duncan asked, rubbing his head. "I can barely see."

"Ow!" Courtney yelled. "Duncan, you just stepped on my hand!"

"Sorry, Princess," Duncan said. "Kinda cramped in here."

"Heather…." Max wheezed.

"Probably underground somewhere," Eliza supplied helpfully.

"Heather…" Max repeated.

"A basement?" Courtney suggested.

"Doesn't smell like a basement," Izzy said, sniffing around her.

"Izzy, stop sniffing my hair," Chelsea said impatiently.

"Heather…."

"My god, what is it?" Heather snapped.

"You're on top of me," Max wheezed, trying desperately to wiggle out from underneath the queen bee.

"You think I don't know that? I'll get off you when I find somewhere to stand," Heather replied. "There's not much room in here."

"It's too small to be a basement," Lulu offered.

"Yeah," Chelsea agreed, trying to stand up. "Way too small."

"Ow!" Max yelled. "Who's wearing heels? You stepped on my foot!"

Eliza giggled. "Sorry, sorry."

A few minutes and a few cries of pain later, everyone managed to disentangle themselves from each other. By that time, their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and they found themselves in a small, dark jail cell. If they glanced up they could see small streams of light coming from the trapdoor, which was at least 20 feet away. How the heck they survived the fall was a mystery to them. But then again, this was Total Drama Island, and they had survived much less plausible and much more dangerous situations before.

"Okay, let's pay attention to the most important task at hand," Courtney said authoritatively, all business now that she had gotten her bearings. "Getting out of here."

"I'm all for that," Heather agreed. "But how do you suggest we _do_ that?"

"I think we should try to make a human pyramid," Courtney said.

"We'll probably kill each other before we manage to do that," Chelsea said with a flip of her hair. "I think we should just try to break out of here some other way. That way, we'll be starting from inside the house."

"Then what's _your_ idea?" Courtney challenged, annoyed that someone had objected to her idea.

"Hey!" Izzy interrupted. "We could use this spoon I got with breakfast to tunnel out of here!" She pulled a plastic spoon out of the back of her shirt and brandished it like a weapon.

"That's plastic, Izzy," Heather said, speaking slowly as though Izzy had a mental problem.

Izzy ignored her and leapt towards the bars of the cells. She crouched to the ground and started to dig at the ground with the spoon.

"If nobody has a more _sane _idea," Courtney said with a roll of her eyes. "Let's get started making a pyramid."

"Instead of using Miss Bossy-Pants' idea, why don't we try to saw through the bars?" Eliza suggested. "They look pretty thin."

Courtney appeared incapable of speech for a moment, struck by the amount of idiocy in that statement. She got over it quickly. "With _what_?" she said incredulously.

"Oh, I'm sure I have something," Eliza said breezily. She dug her hands into the pockets of her jean shorts and pulled out two Swiss Army knives. She put her hands back in and pulled out a few ninja throwing stars. Out of her back pockets, small throwing knives appeared along with a nail file and a tube of lip gloss. "That should be fine, right?" she said brightly. Chelsea rolled her eyes and fought the urge to slap her forehead with her palm.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Chelsea: That moron is going to blow our cover.

Eliza: Miss CIT just rubs me the wrong way. What the heck did Duncan see in her?

* * *

"Fine!" Courtney said exasperatedly. "Who wants to help her _saw _through the bars?"

"I do," Duncan volunteered. Courtney sent an angry glare his way and he held his hands up in a calming gesture. "Take a chill pill. The bars are pretty pathetic and rusty."

Eliza gave Courtney a smug look, causing the CIT to make a frustrated noise. "Whatever. Everyone else, we're making a pyramid."

"I'm not helping you make a pyramid," Chelsea said, shaking her head while frowning. "I'll probably mess up my hair and we won't get anywhere anyway."

"Then what _are _you going to do?" Courtney asked. "Help her _saw _through the bars?"

"Of course not," Chelsea said. "I'm going to help Izzy."

Izzy grinned ear to ear and pulled another spoon out of her cleavage. She thrust it towards Chelsea, who took it without looking at Izzy.

"Are you insane?" Courtney retorted. "She's not even on our team!"

"She _is_ insane, but I'm not," Chelsea replied. "And Izzy's idea will probably work better than your pyramid idea. These people are not some sort of cheerleading squad."

"I'm with her," Lulu said quickly.

"My idea is much better than yours!" Courtney argued.

"Why the heck do we need to listen to you?" Eliza spat.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Duncan: Here it comes…. /He smirks at the camera/

* * *

"Because I'm a CIT!" Courtney yelled.

"Blah, blah, blah," Eliza muttered. "Who wants to work with the CIT?" Courtney glared at everyone in the room, but they all avoided her eyes and nobody volunteered. "And who's with me?"

"If you say there's rust, I guess it's our best bet," Max said.

"I guess I'm with you too," Heather said.

"You're not even on our team!" Courtney accused Max.

"Hey, you're not in charge, you can't kick him out," Eliza said smugly.

"Well… then…" Courtney stuttered. "I won't help you!"

"I'm fine with that," Eliza replied.

"Go ahead, act like a baby," Chelsea added.

Courtney made a frustrated noise and turned on her heel like she was about to stomp away. However, there was nowhere to stomp to in the cell and she ended up just standing facing the corner angrily.

* * *

"Two protons walk into a black hole," Rick said loudly.

Several people groaned audibly, annoyed after the third joke. Those left behind on the porch had come to an unspoken agreement that they would wait for the others for a little bit. It wasn't proving very productive.

"I think we should maybe go do something," Ema contributed shyly.

"I'm with her!" Maria agreed loudly. "I doubt they're coming back, we've waited long enough."

"We should go too," Meena said pleasantly. She smiled cheerfully at the rest of her team.

"Why were you idiots waiting here anyway?" Parker said with a roll of his eyes. He swept his bangs out of his eyes with a flourish.

"You do realize that you waited too, right," Noah commented. He gave Parker a cool stare from where he was leaning against the edge of the porch. "Making you an idiot."

"Well, you're an idiot too," Parker retorted.

"Yeah, good try," Noah said sarcastically. "If you had another few minutes, you might have actually come up with a good comeback."

"Focus dudes!" Rick interrupted. "How are we going to get in there?"

"Through the windows," Noah replied. "Duh."

A cold wind blew across the porch, causing some of the contestants to shiver violently.

"Well let's do _something_," Parker said, glaring at his teammates.

**

* * *

The Turbulent Confessional**

Ema: Parker isn't being a really good member of our team. /She sighs/

Noah: Jerk. He's even worse than Anti-me.

Lindsay: Percy is being really mean to everyone! /She crosses her arms across her chest and glares at the camera/

Eva: Glad he's not on _my _team.

Rick: The dude is really pissing everyone off. I heard him tell Lindsay she was dumber than a brick wall this morning. That's _true_ but you don't tell someone that. Even if it is true. /He shrugs/

* * *

"So nobody on this team has a problem with going through the windows?" Meena asked politely, trying to distract those who were glaring at Parker. There were shrugs and head shakings all around, so the remaining Crazy Hikers walked away from the porch in search of a window.

Ezekiel, Eva, Rizo and Maria stood silently on the steps of the porch, staring after the Crazy Hikers. Eva quickly took action.

She hurried in the opposite direction as the Crazy Hikers. "Let's go look for a window."

Ezekiel and Maria shrugged. "Sounds good," Maria said, following after the bodybuilder.

"Yup," Ezekiel agreed

* * *

"Damn," Izzy cursed, staring at the broken plastic utensil. "It broke."

"Ha!" Courtney jeered. She squatted next to Izzy and Chelsea's small hole and smirked. "Told you it wouldn't work."

Chelsea took a deep breath, praying to whatever yoga gods were out there to give her the patience to not attack Courtney right there and then. Izzy simply shrugged, completely unbothered by the CIT's lack of faith. She started to use her hands to dig furiously, making much more progress than when she was using the spoon.

"This is where I stop," Chelsea said, not willing to sacrifice her nails for a way out.

"Max!" Eliza yelled, startling everyone in the cell. "Not again."

"Sorry," he said, nursing yet another cut on his hand.

* * *

"So I recommend we stick together and go straight through the-" Noah started to say.

"EEEEEK! Spider!" Lindsay shrieked. She had accidently walked through a spider web that was hanging between a doorway.

"Are you okay?" Meena said, following after the blonde. Ema also hurried after the girl, hoping she was okay.

"Morons," Parker said, rolling his eyes.

* * *

A/N: Annnnnd, FINISH! Thanks for reading guys! I'm sorry it took me so long to post. I wrote it and forgot about it, because I've been busy. Hope you enjoyed it!


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